i've got stuff to spill/ so sit n chill/ while i start this thing up/ u can piss in a cup/ hell do wat u want/ just dont mess with me/ not while i am blogging/ its important u see.

like that for an intro?? :D

today i ran a total of 9 1/2 rounds. thats abt 3 km i spose. 8 of those with mar. we skipped off the field at one stage. ok il admit it WAS fun. but VERY humiliating. the things i do........ :D yeah yeah it WAS fun
then mar managed to talk me n cindy into doing pushups and situps. so i did 40 pushups and 70 crunches. not bad i spose. but still wth did we???? :)
wat else. had fun today! dont really noe why. but the running took lotsa stress n anger n rage n all outta me. ok i totally sound like the Hulk or something i noe. im nothing like him la! for one people dislike me whether or not im angry. so that gets rid of the "u wont like me when im angry" line :D

hold on :

there:

Till I Collapse

[Intro]
Sometimes you just feel tired, feel weak
And when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up
But you gotta search within you, try to find that inner strength
and just pull that shit out of you
And get that motivation to not give up, and not be a quitter
No matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face, and collapse

[Eminem]
Till I collapse I'm spillin these raps long as you feel 'em
Till the day that I drop you'll never say that I'm not killin 'em
Cause when I am not, then I'ma stop pinnin 'em
and I am not hip-hop and I'm just not Eminem
Subliminal thoughts, when I'ma stop sendin 'em
Women are caught in webs, spin 'em and hoch venom
Adrenalin shots of penicillin could not get the illin to stop
Amoxacillin's just not real enough
The criminal cop killin hip-hop villain
A minimal swap to cop millions of 'Pac listeners
You're comin with me, feel it or not you're gonna fear it
like I showed ya the spirit of God lives in us
You hear it a lot, lyrics to shock
Is it a miracle or am I just product of pop fizzin up?
Fo' shizzle my wizzle, this is the plot, listen up
You bizzles forgot, Slizzel does not give a fuck

[Chorus 2X: Nate Dogg]
Till the roof comes off, till the lights go out
Till my legs give out, can't shut my mouth
Till the smoke clears out - am I high? Perhaps
I'ma rip this shit, till my bones collapse

[Eminem]
Music is like magic, there's a certain feelin you get
when you real and you spit an' people are feelin your shit
This is your moment, and every single minute you spend
tryin to hold on to it cause you may never get it again
So while you're in it, try to get as much shit as you can
And when your run is over just admit when it's at its end
Cause I'm at the end of my wits with half the shit gets in
I got a list here's the order of my list that it's in
It goes Reggie, Jay-Z, Tupac and Biggie
Andre from OutKast, Jada, Kurupt, Nas and then me
But in this industry I'm the cause of a LOT of envy
So when I'm not put on this list, the shit does NOT offend me
That's why you see me walkin around like nothin's botherin me
Even though half you people got a fuckin problem with me
You hate it but you know respect you got to give me
The press's wet dream like Bobby and Whitney, Nate hit me

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
Soon as the verse starts, I eat at an MC's heart
What is he thinkin? How not to go against me, smart!
And it's absurd, how people hang on ev-ery word
I'll probably NEVER get the props I feel I ever deserve
But I'll never be served, my spot is forever reserved
If I ever leave Earth, that would be the death of me first
Cause in my heart of hearts I know nothin could ever be worse
That's why I'm clever when I put together ev-ery verse
My thoughts, are sporadic, I act, like I'm a addict
I rap, like I'm addicted to smack like I'm Kim Mathers
But I don't wanna go forth and back in constant battles
The fact is I would rather sit back and bomb some rappers
So this is like a full blown attack I'm launchin at 'em
The track is on some battlin raps who want some static?
Cause I don't really think that the fact that I'm Slim matters
A plaque and platinum status is WACK if I'm not the baddest, so

[Chorus]

[Eminem] Until the roof
[N.Dogg] Until the roof
[Eminem] The roof comes off
[N.Dogg] The roof comes off
[Eminem] Until my legs
[N.Dogg] Until my legs
[Em + N] Give out from under me

[Eminem] I will not fall, I will stand tall
[Eminem] Feels like no one can beat me

----Eminem featuring Nate Dogg----

im chatting with mar while doing this entry n the song came up. mar's got good taste. she's limping with the Bizkit, likes Korn, and thinks this song's cool! the girl can do no wrong!

k maybe im a liiiiiiiittttttttlllllllleeeeee bias :D

but still!!!!!!!!!!!!

k i have just been alerted that someone needs reading material. -wink- to u. hold on :

freestyle this shit
and get this thing going
my brain's fulla dope
n my eyes say its snowing

i;ve got weed in my right hand
n a pen in my left
my windows aint blinking
n palate is cleft

my brain's working overtime
i ran so fucking far
im really shagged n fagged
lets stop right here.

just doing rhyme of the top of ur head's real fun. well it is if u can. some people insist they cant tho. but u dont noe till u try.

i feel i dont have the energy to be entertaining anymore!! somone give me impetus! someone give me drive! someone give me something real! that makes me feel alive! someone give me something! that makes me forget her! nah on second thought forget that! i like things the way they were!

where's all this coming from man. i really do not know. something's crawled inside my mind. n now i seem to go. on and on abt... well, stuff. that i really shldnt say. so all's well that ends well. n ill end this with "have a nice day"

hmm lets settle in for a looooooooong entry here. got stuff to spill.

well well. nothing of BIG note been happening lately.
oh yeah i studied econs today!! spose thats a big enough deal (yeah its sad i noe. leave me along ya'll!!)
wat else. studied with char n exo n mar n gil at orchard library today. did basically nothing to be PERFECTLY honest aside frm laughed an awful lot with mar. u gotta learn to hide the faces u make at me BEFORE i see them babe :D
hold on a sec.
there:

In Da Club
[50 Cent]
Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go shawty
It's your birthday
We gon' party like it's yo birthday
We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday
And you know we don't give a fuck
It's not your birthday!

[Chorus] (2x)
You can find me in the club, bottle full of bub
Look mami I got the X if you into taking drugs
I'm into having sex, I ain't into making love
So come give me a hug if you into to getting rubbed

[Verse]
When I pull out up front, you see the Benz on dubs
When I roll 20 deep, it's 20 knives in the club
Niggas heard I fuck with Dre, now they wanna show me love
When you sell like Eminem, and the hoes they wanna fuck
But homie ain't nothing change hold down, G's up
I see Xzibit in the Cutt that nigga roll that weed up
If you watch how I move you'll mistake me for a playa or pimp
Been hit wit a few shells but I dont walk wit a limp
In the hood then the ladies saying "50 you hot"
They like me, I want them to love me like they love 'Pac
But holla in New York them niggas'll tell ya im loco
And the plan is to put the rap game in a choke hold
I'm feelin' focused man, my money on my mind
I got a mill out the deal and I'm still on the grind

Now shawty said she feeling my style, she feeling my flow
Her girlfriend wanna get bi and they ready to go

[Chorus] (2x)

[Bridge]
My flow, my show brought me the doe
That bought me all my fancy things
My crib, my cars, my pools, my jewels
Look nigga I got K-Mart and I ain't change

[Verse]
And you should love it, way more then you hate it
Nigga you mad? I thought that you'd be happy I made it
I'm that cat by the bar toasting to the good life
You that faggot ass nigga trying to pull me back right?
When my junk get to pumpin in the club it's on
I wink my eye at ya bitch, if she smiles she gone
If the roof on fire, let the motherfucker burn
If you talking bout money homie, I ain't concerned
I'm a tell you what Banks told me cause go 'head switch the style up
If the niggas hate then let 'em hate
Watch the money pile up
Or we go upside there wit a bottle of bub
You know where we fucking be

[Chorus] (2x)

[Talking]
(laughing) Don't try to act like you ain't know where we been either nigga
In the club all the time nigga, its about to pop off nigga
G-Unit

----50 Cent----

cool song. tho the main reason i have his lyrics in here is coz i heard the song today n noticed for the first time that the names Dre and Eminem are in it. so i wanted to get the rite words n all..... n figured i may as well put it in here.

wat else wat else
do i have to say
honestly, nothing much
its been a dull day
(notice that??
Its a literary tool.
Uh huh. aliteration
like it?? aint it cool?)
aside frm all that
there's not much to tell
life's geting real boring
slightly better than Hell

oooo where'd that come from?? :D

coming to the end of Crossroads of Twilight.. its really good man. cant get over it.

looks like im running after school tomorrow with mar n possibly daniel. shld be fun. i gotta get in better shape man!! how pathetic is it that im HAPPY i can do 2-3 measly pull ups when there are people out there who can do FIFTY SIX??!!!!!!!!!!! and my 2.4 timing is pretty bad too. for the record its 12.13. if i was a GIRL (which, contrary to public opinion and the lies mar perpetuates ( :D ) i am NOT) that time'd be fantastic. but nooooooooooo guys are sposed to be faster than girls (i spose we DO come faster... in more sense of the word than one. scuse that :D ) so yeah. i need to run tomorrow for sure. plus shld be fun running with friends just for the fun of it. having a teacher pressurising one always takes some of the joy outta anything. (cept for chinese. considering there's NO joy to be had there its all the same. as a nigger wld say "its all bad" :D)

wat else. nothing new on my number one front (go figure ya'll). kristen, clara, renjun and charine (for the early part of the day) were all absent. hope we arent all getting the plague or something. Missed kristen's fire red hair during assembly :D

dum da dum. think this's where i shld sign out.

here ya'll go... as i said. cool song.

Seven Nation Army

I'm gonna fight 'em off
A seven nation army couldn't hold me back
They're gonna rip it off
Taking their time right behind my back
And I'm talking to myself at night
Because I can't forget
Back and forth through my mind
Behind a cigarette
And the message coming from my eyes
Says leave it alone

Don't want to hear about it
Every single one's got a story to tell
Everyone knows about it
From the Queen of England to the hounds of hell
And if I catch it coming back my way
I'm gonna serve it to you
And that ain't what you want to hear,
But that's what I'll do
And the feeling coming from my bones
Says find a home

I'm going to Wichita
Far from this opera for evermore
I'm gonna work the straw
Make the sweat drip out of every pore
And I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding
Right before the lord
All the words are gonna bleed from me
And I will think no more
And the stains coming from my blood
Tell me go back home

----White Stripes----

short entry today...... volleyball was fun!! quite tired tho. it was almost always me who ran for the ball.... plus i ran for no fucking reason sometimes :D

can now do abt 3 pull-ups. improving slowly. ill get there

dammit she's so chio. n so nice to be arnd.

k thats abt all for today. told ya its short :D too shagged la.

I'm back/ attacking the mike/ hyped like a Viking/ striking like a python/ Blazed like John/ a hip hop icon/ MC radical/ back on track from my rap-act-sabbatical

ta daaaaa!!!! :D

Guess who's back... back again
Tim is back...... tell some men :D
Rub my back.... rub my back.... rub my back ----cue fade----

k cut the crap. i hear ya

life's going pretty ok!!! welll true i still dont have the number one thing i want. those of u in the noe... good for u. those of u who have no idea what the fuck im talking about... too bad :D besides im resigned to NOTHING ever happening in that department la. sure ill wait n all. but yeah.
school's going ok i guess. lil behind with work. gonna hafta catch up a bit today.

break out ya'll n freestyle
talk is cheap
motherfucker if ur really feeling froggish leap
cut it loose for a while

k so i stole a line or two there. most of u wont noe anw :D
havent had my PTM yet. it;ll come sooner or later. but siva seems to have gone easier on those who passed two A level subs. so im a lil more safe than some.
i like my class!!! even terence the pariah is really quite ok. sure he's a lil (ok scratch lil. HIGHLY) irritating sometimes. but other times he's just another guy y'noe. struggling n all. so ill try n cut him some slack.
particularly it seems that friendships in the class are getting stronger. all u vaguely-human-like beings who're readin this and are from my class lemme noe wat u think. but yeah i'd say for sure im closer to some now than i was last term. there's still room for more closeness with one or two people tho. k lets be honest. i only care abt one la right. we all noe that :D
but the same thing goes la. no hope. least depression bout it is gone

hold on a sec. just wanna check something. people who have this blog are Exo, char, chermy, mar, kristen. did i leave out anyone? if i did pls leave a tag or something. i wanna noe who coz i wanna change my addy.

aside frm that
lets see what i've got
to spill to the crowd
hmm. there aint a lot

nothing's happening these days
life's getting real boring
we need a new phase
something more rewarding

than just plain old school
something lots more cool
something much more fun
(well, all i need is ONE)

those of u as got the last line.... haha n big up to ya :D actually everyone who has my blog shld noe wat i mean la. but just in case there are eyes in here who shldnt be, (if there are this is for u: FUCK OFF N DIE U LIL CUNTS. alternatively, (if suicide isnt appealing), come up to me n ask for the addy nicely. if im feeling nice (or if im smashed :D ) i'll give it to u) im sorta keeping it all a lil hush hush. plus with the amnt of ppl in here now i'd rather not be completely open anw.

k think thats enuff for today. i leave ya'll with this:

Baby I'm A Want You
Baby, I'm-a want you
Baby, I'm-a need you
You the only one I care enough to hurt about
Maybe I'm-a crazy
But I just can't live without...

Your lovin' and affection
Givin' me direction
Like a guiding light to help me through my darkest hour
Lately I'm a-prayin'
That you'll always be a-stayin' beside me

Used to be my life was just emotions passing by
Feeling all the while and never really knowing why...

Lately I'm a-prayin'
That you'll always be a-stayin' beside me.

Used to be my life was just emotions passing by
Then you came along and made me laugh
And made me cry...
You taught me why...

Baby, I'm-a want you
Baby, I'm-a need you

Oh, it took so long to find you, baby

Baby, I'm-a want you
Baby, I'm-a need you

----Bread----

first verse wld be especially relevant to how i feel. its a very good song!!! quite old tho. dont knock it till you've heard it!!

fuck. dammit i am such a FUCKING STUPID person sometimes. it never fails to amaze me. i am SO BLODDY STUPID

watever

anw abt the rest of the day. project work is a total farce man. as in absolutely.
chinese........ not as bad as usual actually! quite fun. something's wrong with that sentence i noe. but deal with it :D
oh i think Kristen's in here some of the time. Hi Kristen! (Alcoholics Anonymous anyone?) leave a tagg or something girl
im falling sick. fuck that
still feeling all uptight inside. spent time on the bus to Orchard today eyeing this guy frm the floor above me. well i think he was eyeing me too. but wth. fuck man i clda taken him out. woulda been FUN too :D (If ur thinking "wat the FUCK is wrong with this freak?" im thinking the same thing too)

lets freestyle a while
n get this thing started
school was boring
n i feel retarded
i screw up so much
that its motherfucking scary
n i gotta chill
take weed... be a fairy
n flit arnd places
that i've never been
see lil strange faces
that i've never seen
then come back to Earth
n scream FUCK IT ALL
it shldnt be this confusing
why do i feel so small

kk thats gotten a lil outta the ol system. feeling marginally better now

wat else wat else.... im feeling weird. physically n mentally. up in the grey area im really going warped. missing ppl (or person. watever).... thinking abt stuff.... a lil stressed... wuite tired. screw it .

someone give me some direction! some edge! some drive! im lost in this whole mess. i feel like Chermaine's table on a file submission day. im lost within it all. drowning in the flood. trapped beneath the burden. and fallings of my blood. going up the wall with love. and down the cliff with hate. wanting one thing so much. that all else can wait.

k there's poetry in there. go find it. anyhow yeah im drowning slowly n surely. it's all getting a bit much. mixed messages frm everywhere. shit man even my little alien antennae is picking up strange signals frm Alpha Centauri.very confusing.
oh well. i'll figure this out somehow. ill leave ya'll with this. Foo Fighters. check it:

Stacked Actors



Oh mirror mirror, you're coming in clear

I'm finally somewhere in between

I'm impressed, what a beautiful chest

I never meant to make a big scene

Will you resign to the latest design

You look so messy when you dress up in dreams

One more for hire, a wonderful liar

I think it's time we all should come clean

Stack dead actors, stacked to the rafters

Line up the bastards all I want is the truth

Hey, hey now, can you fake it,

Can you make it look like we want

Hey hey now, can you take it

And we cry when they all die blonde

God bless, what a sensitive mess

Yeah, but things aren't always what they seem

Your teary eyes, your famous disguise

Never knowing who to believe

See through, yeah but what do you do

When you're just another aging drag queen

----Stacked Actors --->> FOO FIGHTERS----

here ya'll go ppl. check this out

I t s O n
Come on!
Save some for me, it's what I like.
I wanna play, you know it's time.
Something is calling, I can't keep from falling.
Come on!
It's on!
Now see it's my fault, angels stabbing me inside.
Nothing changes, just rearranges, for me this time.
Once I cave in, what can I fight?
I can never win, my self I don't like,
I don't like, I don't like, I don't like.
Something is calling, I can't keep from falling.
Come on!
It's on!
You see it's my fault, angels stabbing me inside.
Nothing changes, just rearranges, for me this time.
This time. This... time.
For me, inside. Put me inside.
Hold me, this time. Put me inside.
Come on!
It's on!
---KORN---

good song. FUCKING GOOD SONG. (hope that made it clear :D )

today..... my arms hurt still frm volleyball. sad sad.

wat else. have come to the conclusion that i ABSOLUTELY CANNOT SLACK anymore. so mar, remember frm next week no more being behind with work (to all those reading this going "yeah right", first off, i agree with u. secondly, fuck off n die bitches. gotta try rite?)
and that brings me to my second point. i gotta chill out more. im ticking away inside these days. fucking scary shit. oh well. whatever la.
fuck it. cant be bothered to blog no more tonight. peace out ya'll

life's a bitch, and then u die. so kiss your sorry ass, goodbye
and if ur lips can stretch that far, my GOD, you're sick. rip those fucking lips off your face!!!

ok so im not really making much sense round here am im.
lets see lets see.... im not gonna chronicle events much.

watche 2 fast 2 furious today. FUCKING BRILLIANT (or VERY VERY GOOD. take ur pick. vulgar or goody-goody) fantastic cars. not nearly as girl-focused as i woulda thot. refereshing in that sense.
wat else. life's getting empty somehow. i dont really know wat it is.

hmm i DO have this incredible rage building up inside of me. Only God noes why (Kid Rock, anyone? "only God knows why" remember tt line? good song). but today i felt incredibly uptiight. was eyeing up every single fucking guy in Lido. weird

wat else wat else. oh yeah fucking detention on tuesday for being late. i paid $17 just to arrive at school 4 mins late. n my FUCKING COCKSUCKING BITCH of a chinese teacher just happened to be on duty that morning. WIPE THE FUCKING SMILE OFF YOUR FACE U LITTLE CUNT. swear to GOD she was fucking happy to see me. biatch.
lemme freestyle a while
n cut this thing loose
some teachers are fuckings dicks
and others are no use
like absolute lil chinese bitches
who blab n blab n blab
n wear these tight-ass lil skirts
that show off all their flab
i mean WAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??
fucked up man. its fucked
wat the hell is happening?
school never used to suck
fuck it

ok snap outta it man :D getting more depressive by the second (Frantic-tic-tic-tic-tic... Metallica anyone??)
gotta get outta here before i snap.

life's a bitch, a bitch is a female dog, a female dog is alive, therefore life is a living female dog. somehow put like that it loses its hard edge n punkness doesn't it. think about it. "man my life is an absolute living female dog". like, bollocks to that man :D
ok im a liiiiiiiittttttttlllllllleeeee kooky todAy. relax tho im not totally tripping. not quite :D
lets see. watched Terminator 3 yest. talk abt MASSIVE DESTRUCTION. director probably sat down and went like "hmmmmm ok lets see how much we can destroy in this movie. storyline schmoryline" it was pretty fun really :D
after that.... after that.... oh yeah. played pool with JL. then went down to taka to meet mar cindy n fiona. all which were looking pretty damn fine to me if u ask. -insert lecherous grin *here*- :D that was fun too.... altho i still dunno why fiona needed a new top! i really thot she looked fine. im changing my opinions abt her a lil. i still think she can be too vague sometimes. but yeah i gotta stop being mean n all to everyone.
another thing. i've realised that there are only a few ppl in 1t03 that i have fixed perceptions of. i can count them on one hand. with the others, the way i think of them is continuously changing. it can be quite scary really. every week or even day a new facet is revealed. well actually that makes it sound like its a good thing. not necessarily.

so yeah. there's that. im still sorta reeling a lil frm certain things. i gotta think abt them n maybe talk abt them a lil

wat else. oh yeah the rock concert at the YMCA was pretty damn good!! im pleasantly surprised. really thrashy. good shit
lets put this in here:

F r e a k O n A L e a s h
Something takes a part of me.
Something lost and never seen.
Everytime I start to believe,
Something's raped and taken from me... from me.
Life's got to always be messing with me. (You wanna see the light)
Can't they chill and let me be free? (So do I)
Can't I take away all this pain. (You wanna see the light)
I try to every night, all in vain... in vain.
Sometimes I cannot take this place.
Sometimes it's my life I can't taste.
Sometimes I cannot feel my face.
You'll never see me fall from grace
Something takes a part of me.
You and I were meant to be.
A cheap fuck for me to lay
Something takes a part of me.
Feeling like a freak on a leash. (You wanna see the light)
Feeling like I have no release. (So do I)
How many times have I felt diseased? (You wanna see the light)
Nothing in my life is free... is free
Chorus
Boom na da mmm dum na ema
Da boom na da mmm dum na ema
GO! something on the
So...fight! something on the...

Fight...some things they fight
So...something on the...
Fight...some things they fight
Fight...something of the...
No...some things they fight
Fight...something of the...
Fight...some things they fight
Chorus
Part of me...
Oh...
---- KORN ----
I'm telling u, ppl, do not MESS with this fucking band. they are absolutely brilliant. go dl the song. and then BUY their album when it comes out this year. shld be fucking fantastic

i feeling a malenky bit bezoomny rite now. all hollow inside. its the absence of one or two things in my life. hard to talk abt it

(btw... malenky and bezoomny are words which appear in A Clockwork Orange)

crossroads of twilight is just getting better and better. Robert Jordan is a bloody good author.

judging by my blog nothing's really happening huh?? well..... like i've said this blog is no longer private per se. so i cant talk abt EVERYTHING. maybe one day tho. for now, suffice to say that im feeling pretty damn good really. all things considered.

oh yeah. for those as was at Embassy last nite, im sorry it wasnt fun. tough luck i guess.

Desire
How it eats away at me
knawing away at my soul
sitting upon my heart
and weighing me down like the Earth itself
at times it seems
in the seat of my soul
I lose all control
and give myself over
to this feeling.
its a wanting for something
so strong. so all-consuming
that all else melts away in comparison
like ice under Apollo's eye
Bizarre, how one person
inspires such heat and craving
such covetousness
such desire

k so i broke out for a while. anw im going.

"John Keats, 5 feet high"
thot i'd start this entry off with that. the great English poet himself (im talking abt John Keats. just in case u didnt get that. if u didnt, PUT IT DOWN. or better still, gimme a puff :D ) actually said that. kinda cool that someone so brilliant can be so humble. or self-deprecating maybe.

well anyway. wat's happened today? ho hum. oh yes. QUITE A SHOCK during Lit class. only one person who's reading this shld noe wat i'm talking about. (-wink- to you :D ) but yeah. it was a BIG shock. somewhat of a nasty one too. but its ok really. just shook things up in my head a lil. things really are never as they seem. As in NEVER.
now that im done with THAT little piece of melodramatic drivel.... school final results are out. here ya go:

History 45 E
Economics 39 AO
Literature 47 E
General Paper 72 A2
Chinese 39 E8

as u can see, they are somewhat fucked. but hey im only one of FIVE people in my class who is promotable (as in passed 2 A level subs). i just gotta keep telling myself that. hopefully it helps.
the only result im happy about is GP. and even there im disappointed im not the highest. k that sounds totally snobby n all.... but still. woulda been nice. thats my ultimate goal for GP anyway.
wat else wat else... man that Lit class revelation (maybe thats a LIL big of a term) is still shaking me up a lil. spose its wat one calls a paradigm shift. for those as dont noe wat a paradigm shift is, check a dictionary. for those as dont noe wat a dictionary is, well.... hell i dunno man. look for the nearest balcony n commit suicide (hold on: balcony====high sorta place. suicide==== in this case, throw urself OFF the balcony. that help oh dictionary-uninitiated person?? :D ) im being a little bitchy today. didja notice??? :D
wat else wat else.... oh yeah i've finally started on Crossroads of Twilight (book 10 of the Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan). a lil background history.... i've read books 1-9 like 3 times (necessary... by the time one reaches book 9 one has forgotten all abt book 1!! lame i noe :D but true nonetheless) so i AM a BIG BIG fan. thank God im finally reading this now. its GOOD too.
speaking of books. i've lent A Clockwork Orange to mar. (mar if ur reading this... pls do start on it SOMETIME. as in anytime la. but dont forget abt it thats all :D enjoy it) im guessing she might like it. maybe once u've read it u'll look back on this entry mar, so "ooooo.... devotchka with real horrowshow groodies... u viddy?" :D (anyone who's read the book'll get it. at least they SHLD)
man i dunno where to end this!!! just seems to keep going and going and going and going and going and going (u get the picture). maybe i shld end it here. one last thing. STILL shook up!!! (yeah i noe i noe. get over it. ill try!!! its not a bad thing tho. like i said. its just an adjustment thingy. oh well)

blahbitty blah blah
my blog titles are becoming more n more bizarre. or lame. very sad.
anw. interesting day today. i PASSED translations. actually its not really a major surprise to me. (28/50 btw. hey its a C ok. shitty as it may sound)
wat else. went out after school (like DUH) this time it was char, mar, exo, victor, cher, me and DARRYL N MAX. (k now ur all like DARRYL N MAX? WTH?. well they wanted to cling. so i let 'em cling. aint i nice?? :) )
we went to Scotts Picnic to eat. shared food with mar n then she started telling me that im picky with my food. so of course exo joined in. blah blah blah :D
speaking of mar... she kept hitting me with nastiness after we left Scotts!!! all of it involved racism as well. (for example, "stupid aussie bastard". like wtHELL) wat'd i do man. thats all im asking. dont get me wrong tho. im not pissed. just fucking confused!! she does that lots. like hits me with it outta nowhere. very disconcerting. she wasn't mean ALL the time. just these occasional comments outta the blue. weird :D
rong joined us to study. (well..... "study" is more appropriate i spose) darryl n max were still with us too. but vic n cher left to go back to skool. so we ended up at Lips. AGAIN :D
im getting frustrated with school. results are completely fucked. as in FUCKED (thot i'd make that nice n clear)
my uncle n cousin are in spore for 2 days frm Oz... so im going to the Night Safari tonight. shld be fun. -leaving-

YES!!!!!
GOD BLESS RAJOO. black bastard tho he may be sometimes he gave me the half mark necessary for me to pass history. big up to the big black guy.
so.... with history passing im looking at being promotable. FUCKING YES man. oh yeah. GP's 72%. not too bad if i may say so myself. (alright so im totally up my own ass. big deal man. :D )
hmmmmm. after school me, char, mar n exo (the usual :D ) went to town. mar n i managed to conspire in KFC at taka to spill pepsi on her shoes (well Conspire is a rather grand word for wat was, in fact, a colossal mistake and accident. but hey, it sounds better :D ) then after that we went to Lips to study.................
surprise surprise. we actually DID study (we being me n mar largely in this case. Clarification: exo didnt study AT ALL, char did a lil. me n mar actually made some progress. weird :D ) so anw... the upshot of it all was that because mar n I made some progress on Monopoly, we've sorta made a pact (is that wat i shld call it mar?) to like ace the promos together. must say, this way its more fun. having like a running partner n all. plus, hhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyy its mar. need i say more .
i think i'll end things on that note :D

fuck.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
k b4 i get started here, this's gonna be one of those whingy, whiney blog entries. the kind, ironically, that i HATE to read. but life's kinda fucked at the moment. so bear with it or get the fuck outta here.
now i've cleared that up. FUCK again. lemme count the ways my life is fucked. i've failed Chinese, Economics (39. wtf. so its an AO pass. fuck tt) and HISTORY. like motherfucking shit man. i dropped frm a C in jy's paper to, when combined with rajoo's, an AO pass. fuck it all.
only good news results-wise today was that im top of the class for GP. A2. but dunno wat my mark is.

k aside frm all that SHIT. wat else wat else. oh yes PE today. ok la. the part i enjoyed the most was running. that was fun. wat with Jason Liu chasing me n all.... fun. after school went to town with mar n char... where we met keiji. i must say she's quite nice. very quiet tho. wats with that man????? altho i think char's a little hard on her (no offence char... just saying it how i thinks it is). so yeah thats abt it.... oh yeah exo (he was absent for school) came n met us. it wasnt as weird as i thot it woulda been!! altho they basically ignored each other. watever.
oh yeah mar was like ultra bitchy!!! now THAT was fun :D as in seriously it was!! y'noe how bitchiness can be fun if there's no ill-will in it right? well yeah. 'least i THINK there was no ill-will in it. altho i can never tell with her. sometimes she really freaks me. ( :D )

news!!!!!
the concert yesterday was FUCKING FANTASTIC. i have NEVER played so well before. totally chilled out..... relaxed n all that. big up to everyone who helped out (not that they'll ever READ this. but hey thats never the point is it) it was BRILLIANT. exo n peter said any girl who heard it woulda fucked me there n then :D it wasn't QUITE that good. but yeah it was really good.
so yeah to everyone who missed it.... well u missed out on something miraculous. but im performing pretty much every month so dont fret :D
hmmm aside frm that. i got 27.5/50 for JY's paper!!!! im pretty happy abt it. miserable abt the rest of the class tho!!! cher mar char n exo... -hugs- i spose. thats all i can do here. rest assured you'll trash me for rajoo's paper.
after school went to town with mar char n exo. we sorta slacked arnd.. ended up at Lips at Cine. kinda had fun really!! then me n mar TRIED to split...... but noooooooooooooooo char n exo wanted to follow. cant a brother try to help no more???!!!! hope it all worked out tho.
well wat else wat else..... kinda screwed up with mar slightly today. like, AGAIN. i've totally got it down to an art form now. sorry -screws up face in this "yeah im a bastard" sorta thing- 'side frm that i spost today was kinda uneventlful. oh did find out a bit abt mar n char n exo's parents. mar's life isnt quite like i thot it was (no real surprise there. wat i thot her life was like was pretty far out)... char's parents are...... well char's parents :D n exo's mum's a teacher!! plus mar n char's dads went to the same secondary school as my mum!! altho years apart. kinda uncanny. k im gone.

blah blah blabbity blah
ho hum. hum ho. why'm I. so slow.
ok ill stop. :D yesterday was...... well Loooooooong. sold flags n stuff.... then rushed home n rushed out for church. then after church went out for dinner n had to catch a cab home coz it was so late. slept at like 2.30. tired tired tired. n i have a concert today!! im kinda hyped abt it actually. i LOVE performing. its a buzz nothing else gives u (well dope comes close........ :D )
anw more abt yesterday. well i think the most fun part was after the whole flag selling part was over!! which sounds weird i noe. well just walking along frm Dhoby ghaut mrt back to mar's place with mar char n exo was fun i guess. talking to mar n all.... :D 'nuff said
wat else wat else...... oh yeah had that fucking listening yesterday as well. whole thing was a farce. but the teacher was nice. had a daughter studying in Aus. so we talked n all.
before i go... just a little note. was reading mar's blog n she has this entry abt how she cant stand ppl who say "stuffs" insteada "stuff". I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME WAY. 'cept i dont feel bad abt feeling that way (probably coz im an arrogant prick n all.. yeah yeah watever :D )
k that does it for today.

ba ba da bap bap bap bap ba shoobe doowa doobie do da doo doo ba..
i've got jazz running thru my mind :D
ho hum..... Youth Day was pretty good!! let's see....
ooh yes 1st things 1st. we were like going into the hall n i was right at the tail end of the class with exo n terence. now exo's cool. but terence..... lets just say it looked like it was gonna be a looooooong ceremony. but then, outta nowhere, like a flash of lightning from heaven, coming totally unexpected, unforseen by seers and soothsayers worldwide (k i've got ya'll good n ready for something big dont I :D ) mar tells me to come round n sit with her coz she doesnt wanna sit at the end of the row. now not wanting to sit at the end of the row is, to me, kkkkkiiiinnnda weird. but hey it takes all sorts dont it :) plus mar's always fun la. terence still came. but hey. mar on one side exo on the other. can tah han la y'noe :D
well 'nuff abt mar. mustnt ramble. onto the ceremony. it was fun!! started off with two teachers, one male and one the other sex (that means FEMALE in case u didnt noe) singing that Aguilera thingy's Beautiful. it was kinda good. despite comments which doubted the male's sexual inclinations.
then there was other stuff... cant be bothered to type it all out. aside from Isaac Lim's thingy. he had a classical guitar with a harmonica arnd his neck. n he cld use it!! which's cool. sang all sortsa stuff. then he launched into this freestyle segment which was pretty funny (YMCA==You Must Come Again. oooooook :D )
then after the whole thing we went to Marche. (we this time arnd being Phoebe, Chermaine, Exo, mar, victor, char n me) Daniel AGAIN didnt come... hope he's ok with us all. anw we took photos n stuff. kinda fun :D
aside frm class stuff.... hmm wat happened. oh yes rehearsal was good. the concert this sunday (5pm at the YMCA for those who're interested) shld be good.

anw im bored now.... gonna get outta here.

-walks in and SWEARS-
fuck. i has this REALLY long entry then it disappeared. WHAT THE FUCK
oh well. ill try again.
well well..... oh yeah. mar's eating capabilities were displayed at a new level today. seems like she just goes on and on. and on and on. and (u guessed it) on and on and on. :D k maybe im exxagerating a bit. but only a little!!
aside frm that...... this girl Gillian came with us today (ud being mar, char, cindy, exo, dan n me) (mar u forgot Daniel in ur list of ppl!!! he WAS there y'noe :D ). she's pretty nice. must say she didnt look like the type to smoke tho. the old phrase "dont judge a bunch of dead tree matter dyed white by the front dead bit" has lotsa truth in it. (like the twist i put on that one??? :D )
wat else....... hmm we got a new Lit teacher... she's marginally better than Razif. but Razif definitely gets my vote for niceness. this one got on my nerves so much i gave her the good ol' slang treatment. oh well. i AM such scum aren't i.
replacement teacher for JY seems ok. he's lame in a genuinely funny sorta way. he just has to make sure he doesnt push it too much n he'll be fine (yup thats me, the Comedian guru. dishing out free advice all day every day). i obviously impressed him... which is good considering this is his 1st tutorial with us. first impressions last. he;ll probably cut me some slack. (he actually said that he thot i was going to be a problem coz i talked a lot during the lecture, but that it seemed that i was intelligent n well read n all that jazz. cool!! no im NOT swelling up more. just saying it like it is ppl :D )
guess thats all........ so im going then.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. im sinking into depression again. same person... same deal. very frustrating
funny thing is i was walking home today n i was like "wth? i shld be totally chilled im only SEVENTEEN!!! everything's still fresh n all" n the funny thing is it actually WORKED for abt 10 mins. i totally snapped outta depression. n then i thot abt the depressing subject n sank straight back in. highly frustrating.
anyway. watched one of the top 3 movies this year. according to me at least. it was Basic. man i came outta the cinema feeling like a played a chess game or something. mind-bender for real. check it ppl. it REALLY IS GOOD.
anw back to my depression. actually screw that. lemme talk abt exo.
hmmmmmmmm very weird. he really likes char. (k its kinda weird talking abt it here but i gotta spill SOMEWHERE. so stfu if u've got a problem :D ) so anw.... he's at this point trying to sort out his problems before oing anything with char... coz the latter has problems of her own. (apparently....... i wasn't very aware of any!!!) i think thats kinda good. quite impressed by his thoughtfulness actually. but..... i dunno if i'da done the same!!! kinda tough for me to sustain that kinda thing
hmmmmmmm life's kinda weird at the moment. wat with swinging into depression and outta it..... into ecstasy and outta it...... very strange. feel like a druggie. oh well
one last thing!! to record for posterity: mar broke my bands yesterday :D kinda cool thats all. -gone-

like it when ur body goes bum bum bum..... :D
where the hell'd that come from?? i swear sometimes my fingers get totally taken over. snap back to reality/ oh there goes gravity... oooooook. feeling kinda kooky today. dunno why
well i've got that drama meeting thingy tonite!! looking forward to it... altho it looks like i'll be going it solo. oh well. before that i think ill be hanging with my homies. well....... thats the PLAN. altho if i put it across to them like that they'd probably slap me or something :D
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm calling all angels. man its a fucking fantastic song. train has gotta be one of THE BEST bands around. fuck coldplay man. thats all i can say. the lead singer is so OBVIOUSLY snorting something!! k im gone

hey blog. k i must NEVER do that again. addressing my blog like its alive or something is too much like "daniel thinks ..." :D (-wink- to those who noe wat im talking abt)
well im feeling kinda miserable!!! due to the increasingly-public nature of this blog i shall refrain from revealing all. suffice to say i have a hollow empty feeling in my stomach. n its NOT brought on by hunger. plus im suffering from withdrawl of something as well. ahh. dammit. im sad. but at the same time sorta happy.
schizo inclinations are showing thru my thin veneer of sanity. must stop that. :D well well... wats next. i;ve got some improv drama meeting tomorrow night. im HOPING ill find someone to go with me (hint hint to those i've asked. HINT :) ) it should be fun... the people seem pretty cool. plus its improvisation which is good stuff. oh well..... im going somewhere else to mourn n mope around. see ya'll later

.................. things are in a mess. but i had so much FUN today!! then came home n... well nvm. some people noe n i wanna leave it at that. pls dont ask. well anw... econs was good. think i may actually pass. yeah yeah shock n horror n all that bullshit. watched dumb n dumberer yest.... pretty good :D (there's shit EVERYWHERE!!!) n then today was pretty fun too... even tho i DID wake up at 5 despite not having school... but then hanging out the rest of the day was pretty fun. even if i DID get trashed wayyyy too many times ( ;) mar ) so anyway (CRAP music on the radio. _|_ it. k the mood's kinda darker today i noe. my apologies) wat else wat else... i cant really go ultra private in this blog anymore... too many people. oh well that's fine i spose.
i REALLY had fun today. weird. cant stop thinking abt it. ahhhhhhh its kinda strange. oh well.
here's the poetry (yes i wrote AGAIN) that i did during econs. there's two this time. enjoy!!!

"Bang" and you're dead
Life's gone just like that
Funny, ain't it?
You used to think you were fat.

But it dont matter no more!!
Life's gone! It's over
Now you're headed for
green grass and green clover

But shot dead by some
Little ignorant punk?
What a way to go
Oh well. Dont get stuck in a funk

It's time to move on!!
Thing is: heaven or hell??
Which one'll it be?
Stay around. Hear the bells?

Of approaching angels?
Guess God has forgiven.
All those little lies.
And that crap in the kitchen

You used to call cooking!!
Man, you ate it yourself.
Heck if it wasn't a bullet
You'da died anyway. Your food was THAT bad.

But anyway moving on
You're going to Heaven!
That wondrous place
Where there's no thing like 7

O'clock in the morning
To wake up for school
Oh, no, buddy boy, wake up late
Hey its cool!

Hold on a second
Thos angels have horns!
And wicked long tails!
And tridents! And flames and that kinda shit!!

Guess God changed His mind
Man your cooking's THAT bad?
Eternal purgatory? Oh well
Goodbye now! Don't be sad!

Besides, any time now
George Bush will appear
To "Topple the Dictatorship of Satan and free the oppressed!"
So just kinda hang around. No fear!!


hahahaha i like that. its not really a good one... but i like the humour in it :D here's the next:

George Bush says
"Kill Saddam! He is bad!"
But is he really?
I mean, sure, he killed people
Which is pretty evil
But still he's just probably mad.

When he was young,possibly
His mother dropped him
Unable to stand her own child
Now being dropped on the head
I would venture to say
Is liable to make some thoughts wild

So he grew up slowly
Developed and also played games
Like "Kill" and "Nuclear Wipeout"
And there was,
Let us never forget
More dangerous ones like "Poke His Eyes Out!"

(This game was much later
Developed by Saddam
Into interrogation technique.
Sad, isnt it, really
How some never grow up
As the French sometimes say, "Pathetique")

So really, you see
It isnt his fault.
We all should just blame his dear mum
That woman of evil
Who gave birth to the man
Who goes by the name of Saddam!!

ok ok.... so pathetique doesn't mean pathetic (it actually means pathos). i didnt figure many people'd noe... so its ok then aint it :D man i really had fun today!! ok snap outta it. -gone-

whoa some one up there likes me man..... lit was GREAT!!! at least i thot it was. maybe i totally screwed up. but i reckon i did pretty well. i was tripping a lil after the exam :D
anyway i wrote another poem... but one of the invigilators was a total BITCH. she saw me writing so she came over to read. so i picked up my pencil case and used it to cover my poem. y'noe privacy n all that. n then she started bitching abt how i was misusing exam resources and killing trees. what a FUCKING psycho!!! i mean for fuck's sake who gives a shit abt one sheet of paper?? well anw... -chills out a lil- heres the poem :

HOW I WOULD LIKE TO DIE
How often have you
Planned out your day?
Think you not, that Death,
Should be planned the same way?

I know I have
Thought about it somewhat
For one thing, I know
It mustn't be hot.

I've spent my life sweating!!
In heat I perspire
Wouldn't it suck
If I died in a fire?

Much better, think I
To die somewhere cold.
Besides, when its cool
Dead things don't grow mold

Of course, the best'd be
To die mid-orgasm
One last final bang
Before Death's cold dark chasm

But it'd be hard!!
You'd try and you'd try
And after each time, think
"Damn why didnt I die??"

Well, then, maybe not.
Leave sex outta death.
(Besides, it sounds morbid.
Well, it SHOULD. What's wrong with you????!!!!!!!!!)

Then I'd like to die
After good conversation
Put the phone back
In it's usual location

Then go and lie down
On my big, soft, nice bed
And as my soul slipped away
I'd be dead


I really like this one a lot. quite proud of it. spose ppl will think its crap tho :( well fuck them is all i'll say :D oops getting vulgar here... better attend to economics.

i cannot summon
the strength that i need
to study literature.
hell i'd rather smoke weed

than study and memorise
ancient loads of crap
about long dead ppl
i mean, how fun is that?

what on EARTH was i thinking?
on that long-past day
when i put "lit" as a choice
and to Fahy fell prey?

Admittedly the freak's cool
Strange and entertaining
But Miss chua? Puh-leeze
she needs no explaining

A woman like a moon
can never be erotic
and her obsession with roofs?
sure sign she's neurotic

then there's our friend
the mighty great man
oh yes, and a doctor
but a teacher? uh uh. please ban

well anw lets wrap this up
feel free to pratice
your practical criticism on this
but hey, easy on the malice :D

ooook. as u can probably see, i am VERY bored. sorta just sitting arnd waiting for my departure time to arrive. hope ya'll enjoyed this. it aint much, but cant expect much right? look at our lit teachers!!!!!! :D

man its 7 in the morning!!! wtF am i doing awake?? i gotta quit that late nite reefer man... gettin to me ..... :D well anw.... another guitar exam today at 4.40. pretty chilled abt it. but i gotta go down myself. and its at MARINE PARADE. i'd smoke a joint and fly there (u CAN fly u noe) but i always seem to fly there n come back without doing what i set out to. weird huh.

:D dunno if that went over everyone's heads. i HOPE not. if it did, hey whatever ur smoking i want it!!! :) so tomorrow's lit, n day after that is econs (!!!!!!). as u might be able to tell im slllliiiiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhhtttttttlllllllyyyyyyyy nervous abt econs. only slightly. RIGHT. i've got abt $2000 riding on me passing these exams. which i'd kinda like. oh well. im gonna hafta cram i spose. which means i shld go now.