Thursday, September 13, 2007

Facebook frivolity

Greetings, my (by now perhaps long gone) readers!


I WILL construct a decent update soon, I solemnly swear, but for now, for posterity, a marvellous collection of facebook exchanges!


It all began with this......



Rebecca Reid:
"You are online...
And so am I...
The weather is not fine...
I want some pie...


See, I could be a song writer. Yes yes I could"



I wasn't going to let THAT stand, of course. So I replied.

Timothy Harries:

"A songwriter? No! That cannot be!
You supplied no bit of melody.
A few simple words - all quite paltry.
Not indicating even key!

The absolute temerity!

Now THIS then is genuine song,
The sort to which one sings along
(Mostly getting most bits wrong)
Like that one with all the place names, you know, how's it go......
Oh yeah.
"I've been everywhere man (blah blah blah) Dandenong"

As for you desiring pie
I'm afraid that I cannot supply
A single morsel. You ask why?
I cannot bake, nor shall I try!

Goodbye!"


Becky then wrote on Morgan Haselden's wall:

"I have all but monopolised your wal [...] p.s. check out Tim's poetry. He likes to use big words"



So I jumped on that of course, because I saw a decent sized word! So I replied (on Morgan's wall)

"Sorry to use your wall as a battleground morgs but I don't "like to use big words", they just come naturally! Two very distinctly different things.

Although I must say, I saw "monopolised" in Becky's post and though "Ah, a polysyllabic word! I must top that!"

So that's done now :D"




Meanwhile, becky and morgan have both written on my wall:


Becky:

"Oh my, Timothy Harries, that was quite an effort. I'm going to have to think about something brilliant and get back to you... you poetry-nerd. Are we celebrating your return to Sydney with pub on Friday? I'm working Saturday and Sunday so I'd like to make the most of Friday."

(obviously stunningly impressed by my work)


Morgan:

"Hey slut features. while i am moderately impressed by your impromptue poetry it does not change the fact that im an going to kill you in poker tomorow!! Mwa hahaha haha ha ha"

(obviously delusional)



On Morgan's wall, the situation progresses:

becky:

"YOU'RE a polysyllabic word. Take that! Wait... your name is Tim... looks like I lose on all fronts. Except for the western front.Sorry Morgan :)"


me:

"Well well, how's that for a somewhat infantile comeback! Although I must profess a measure of curiosity - what's this western front you mention?No apologies from me. HA!"


Becky:

"The western front... WWI! At last, I know something Tim doesn't"


Tim:

"You cannot claim supremacy based on a pathetic little snippet of information, presented without giving me the slightest IOTA of a chance vis a vis comprehension. SO THERE!""


Becky:

"Yeah I'm thinking I'm going to have to go all surrealist on Tim and then he'll have no idea what I'm talking about. I won't either, but thats not the point. Oh dear god, there's something in my roof... No really this isn't me practicing my surrealist moves there is actually something in there, clattering... bloody possums. I am proud to be host to your longest ever message! Sure beats being host to Tim's haikus"


(in explanation of the mention of haikus, Becky had earlier changed her status to "Is apparently now hosting a blog for Tim's latest poetry". Now come on. I couldn't let that slip past me! so I did this on her wall:

"Your status invites -
I'm drawn, inexorably.
Absolved of all blame.


A haiku!"

Which isn't too bad really!)




Finally, this post's raison d'etre!


Morgan wrote on Becky's wall, in reply to her idea of going surrealist, in a bid to confuse me by obfuscating:

"Greetings. I would highly advise never to speak to mr timothy harries about poetry or history or anything even semi intellectual unless you are the worlds greatest peorson because chances have it that tim will be able to out brain you! I dont think i have ever said anything to tim that he doesnt already know so i have resorted to speaking in (non bach) melody with extreme dynamics and beautiful tone colours to keep him interested. In regards to your poetry i am much more of a rebecca reid fan than a timothy harries nut job, because your style can convey all that you feel in just 4 lines and is still very poetic! Tims poetry however is sooo long that by the end not only am i checking my watch to see how much time i have wasted i also feel completly demoralised as there is no way i could ever whip up a beast like that.. "





Which is both really quite funny and also very pleasant.



Call me narcissistic! Or don't. You're not obliged.





Farewell, for now!