Two men are sitting in a train compartment, passing the time, albeit rather slowly. Man A is sleeping, but slowly wakes up to find that man B is busy tearing pages out of a yellow pages directory and throwing said pages out of the compartment window.

Man A, puzzled for what should be obvious reasons, questions man B:

Man A “ What on earth are you doing?”

Man B “Using these yellow pages to keep away the flying pink elephants.”

Flabbergasted, man A says “What are you talking about? There ARE no pink elephants!”

With a triumphant look on his face, man B replies “I know. Its working isn’t it?”




like that one? :)



some important birthdays coming up! strikes me as kinda ironic that one of the people whom i have NO idea of what to get is one who herself has problems getting things for other people.

maybe what i shld do is leave it til right before the 17th and then ask her to help me pick out a present for her.

that'd be one way to get a laugh :)


if a witty saying doesnt prove anything to you it COULD just be that you aren't capable of appreciating the intelligence behind it.


Besides, a witty saying proves that you are, of course, WITTY.

:)



(sorry mate couldnt resist that)

Everything's so blurry
And everyone's so fake
And everybody's so empty
And everything is so messed up
Pre - occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
You could be my sea
You know that i'll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what your doing
Imagine where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far
-----Puddle of Mudd-----


the song was exerting a lot of "control" over me today :)


(anyone get that?)



"school's a blast in a very minor way." i second that. although sometimes its better'n that.

i still say its weird how we can so often say exactly the same thing at exactly the same time (fahy smokes a pipe!) and yet ALSO so often we can have two COMPLETELY different things in mind and have what would seem like a perfectly normal conversation abt whatever it isn't for a while....... and then its so hilarious when one or both of us realise that we're not quite thinking on the same planet :)




dawn! steph! jack! where ya'll at?

jack you owe me a bong :)




to all the stupid bastards who INSIST fark is how it shld be spelt, fUCk off. it aint.



i aint sure, but i THINK mrs khoo doesnt despise me now. at least as much as she did before.

lastly, for fio: Noice!!

:)


that's my time

first off:

was walking towards Somerset with mar after vb today and as we parted ways she said "see you online" and that set me thinking: what a fucking COOL age we live in, man! what with the Internet and computers and online chatting and all the rest... its a pretty wicked time to be alive man.

fo' real.



as i sit here in my chair
my mind is far away
tripping the light fantastic in
lands where i dont fear to say

what's truly in my heart of hearts
what's hidden deep within
things that keep my eyes wide shut
holy thougts and ones of sin.

but in real life we all bind our minds
with silk cords as strong as steel
custom, manners and the rest
force us to hide how we feel.

that's life!

____________________________________


i'd kill you if i could, i swear
i'd tear out your goddamn heart.
and when it all was said and done
i'd turn time back to the start

so i could do it all again
once more i'd make you die
and when the second time was done
i wouldnt cry. or even sigh.

__________________________________


today was pretty interesting....... there were times when i could have MURDERED.... cold blood or otherwise..... and other times when i cldnt have lifted an arm to feed myself, let alone stab someone or pull a trigger.

so anyway. things that stick out:

running a total of SIXTEEN rounds today. yeah total guilt trip over cny man. i reckon i ate two pigs' worth of bah kwa and heaven FORBID i even BEGIN to count the pineapple tarts. (i reckon i outstripped you mar :D)

some girl wiping what she thought was BIRD SHIT off on my shirt. wth? :) not mentioning any names

wet feet after PE! MISERABLE!





"too beautiful. they seem to pierce you"


very nicely said. although i dispute the "too". i reckon they're just fine. some guy's gonna be very lucky some day!




betcha all wondering just a li'l bit innit? :)


oh big up to exo! in all honesty i must applaud the nasty stunt he pulled on me this afternoon at the pull-up bars. the SOB pulled my shorts RIGHT off just while i was coming down off a pull up. really, it was pretty sweet. wasn't even that embarrassing!



well ok it was kinda humiliating :) but still props for that one exo.


although i reckon your obscenely high pants (enforced, of course!) is a better running joke.
Up yours bitch! :)


yeah let's not go into that.



ahem yourself to DEATH! its a sad way to go, but since there's always a first time it may as well be you, doncha think?



from a hundred yards you caught my eye
and all the boys said i didnt have the heart to say hi
so can i have your number?
you dont have to give it now
but if you dont give it to me
i'ma never live it down
y'noe what i mean?



cool song huh? CANDY by the Big Willie himself. (will smith if ya'll didnt get that)



oh well that abt does it for me tonight.



i'm tired and shagged
so i'll head off to bed
i cant even rhyme no mo'!
G'nite!

well first off Happy Chinese New Year to everyone


well to everyone who gives more'n 2 cents abt it, that is.





hell i give a WHOLE lotta red packets abt it. this be the fuckin' money season people!


gon' miss it when i head back down under. wont be gettin money no mo'



oh well. you win some you lose some.

_____________________________________


my chess game is pretty damn radical these days. played three games and one all three today.
alright admittedly i doubt the guy i played wasn't that good.... but a win's a win! especially when you're desperate :)



friends, the bends
and odds and ends
they're all ofen quite painful
one screws with your mind
one fucks up your spine
and the last one just messes the table.




how simply marvellous :)


and no actually i aint feeling anything. just vibing off a li'l something in Cindy's blog.

_________________________________


alright this next bit's a little tricky. lemme see how well i handle it.


i just dunno. its really really hard not to be a stupid motherfucker some times. but i reckon im doing alright so far i spose. just gotta keep it up.


i handled that pretty well!


and for those of you who be wondering, go fluff your Garfield or something.


____________________________________

been a while since i did what i consider an entertaining post. the muse just hasnt communed with me recently.

or possibly she's gone and abandoned me for good.


____________________________________


friends
how many of us have them
i'm talkin bout
friends
ones we can depend on.


its a pretty cool song by Will Smith. Quite aptly titled Friends :) check it out if you've got the time.




i'm SO sure there'll be a re-surgence. everyone else seems to think so. if the "re" bit is even necessary.





if i could
i wouldnt
and if i did
i shouldn't.





so there i am, chillin wit' mah homies in mah crib, when suddenly BLAM there comes this like HUGE hoe outta nowhere, and i'm like staring at this booty that aint NEVER been shook befo'. i'm talkin bout some BIG-ASS ASS muthafucka!

so what'd i do? i hit it of course! fo' sure!




that's my time.

zippity doo da
zippity eh
my oh my
what a motherfuckingly boring insanely useless waste of time.



there's a word for what i did in that last line... learnt it durin Prac Crit on Friday with Fahy. just cant remember what it is.

and no, the word ISNT shit.




been a while since i made it online... what with all the rooms with computers in my house being taken by other people. that's what happens when you get a whole bunch of relatives frm Australia staying in ONE CRUMBY LITTLE 8 ROOM APARTMENT!! i mean fuck its FOUR WHOLE FAMILIES!


but we've survived :) had fun, even!

had three burgers last night so i'm feeling just a little stuffed today :)


all in all its been a pretty pleasant week... i must say tho that if i wasnt sitting with exo on one side and mar on the other school would be well nigh unbearable. so thanks to you two. side orders of thanks to fio and the others too. you noe who you are :). this year's shaping up to be pretty damn shitty. let me count the ways:
1) my GP teacher's abt as similar to Mrs Siva as my skin colour is to Rajoo's
2) My History teacher is teaching us like we're retards. which, while undoubtedly true for SOME of the people she's teaching, ISN'T true for US. God get it thru your HEAD already! what on earth that white guy of hers sees in her i do not know.
3)THE WHOLE FUCKING SCHOOL'S RIDING ON OUR BACKS BREATHING DOWN OUR FUCKING NECKS. sure we have a coupla pretty wacked out characters in our class... but give us a fucking break SOME of the time, maybe.
- - - - plus it gives teachers like Ms Ho THAT much more leverage. and that's all a lil midget like her needs.
4)the J1s aren't as good looking as they SHOULD be. i shld totally sue!



yeah of course there's more, but i aint got the patience to list 'em.




______________________________

something that's really impt, i think at least, in a friendship, relationship, WHATEVER is trust. coz its trust that stops things like paranoia, jealousy n all that kinda wacked shit.


think abt it.


_________________________________



its funny how u can think that you want something for SO long, so much so that it becomes a hindrance to other things, so much so that it gets weird-ass names like "juxtaposition" (:D hahahaha i gotta admit i really did like the way *you phrased it all) and then in the end it turns out that what u really wanted was something similar, and yet completely different.

life's weird!




i'll have a plate of weird with a side order of creepy please.




what's the line between lovers and friends, in the final analysis? aside frm the VERY impt issue of (we all noe what's coming) sex. :)



who gives a bleeding fuck
who gives a bloody shit?
who gives a filthy damn?
just WHO AM I GONNA HIT?!



:)




hmmm what do you do, when a nigga spits at you?

spit back, maybe? i dunno



words engraved dont mean much, but think abt the alternatives. words written on with a black marker just rub off.


:D


serendipity.

how's this for a line?
"High over the Atlantic in his jet plane, trying hard not to think about the consequences of Murphy's Law, ...."

:) not bad is it? humour with brains is always the best.

although the dickheads of Jackass come pretty damn close. God those guys have balls! its unbelievable!
and as exo kept pointing out, they're MILLIONAIRES with balls. who skate and do all kindsa crazy ass shit, and get paid for it. wtf?!!!

oh yeah another thing they did was bungee wedgie. where you get a real stretchy pair of underpants, tie them to a tree branch, then put them on and throw yourself from said tree. the idea being that, if you've attached them right, you'll bounce up and down for a while just like on a bungee cord, 'cept that of course you'll get a massively painful wedgie RIGHT UP THE OL' CRACK while doing it.



ouch.


god i love my Grecos :D




well then! hello everyone! got up nice and early today at 7.30. wth for? i dunno! but i did anyhow.

of course, there wasnt really anything to DO at that time. so i went thru some blogs..... y'noe there are ones that you only read when u have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING else to do? normally they're people that one doesnt really know very well,,,,,,, if at all.

and it was nice to read that bitterness isnt something that lasts forever. if bitterness is the right word. doesnt have anything to do with me, it was just nice to read that. oh, and to her blessings, i add mine :)


if totally no one got that, it doesnt matter. its the thought that counts.


slip inside the eye of your mind
dont you know you might find
a better place to play.



i trip and fall and rise again
only to trip and fall again
its times like these, i beg God, please,
let me keep at least one friend




a life of lust, a life of love
a life most heavenly
a life of joy, a life of hate
a life that isn't me.



you fall into this deep dark pit
and can't find your way out
so you scream and call and shout and yell
but you're lost, without a doubt.
you'll be trapped here forever i think
unable to escape
dwelling in this little hole
you contemplate your fate.
now you've got the time, you see,
to think about your life.
what, then, did you do with it?
why was it filled with strife?
sure, at the time you said "their fault!"
but in retrospect was it really?
that casual shifting of blame...
why hold it all so dearly?

maybe we all need a big hole
one where we'll be stuck
and if we die thinking 'bout life
just go out saying 'fuck!'




trippity too ta.





JABBERWOCKY
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"


He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.


And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!


One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.


"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
----Lewis Carroll----


its a pretty cool poem isnt it?
there's always something pretty cool about revelling in utter nonsense. especially if you can do it intelligently..... as paradoxical as that sounds.

of course, there are people who try to sound intelligent and fail utterly, even when attempting normal speech. oh well.


everyone check this, and the related links, out! its kinda hilarious... to me, at least :)
http://www.jabberwocky.com/ugly.html



ever feel like there's SO MUCH in life to be done, and so damn little time to do it in?
for instance: i reckon if i put my mind to it, i could be : a lawyer, a physicist, a mathematician, a philosopher, a brilliant musician, a fantastic actor, a chemist, a pro skater, an astronaut and a teacher. but there's only one life per person! sure, maybe i could do two or even three of those jobs, but not to the level i could take just one of them if i ran with it my whole life.
crikey, mate, there just isn't enough time. i noe says Billy Conolly "people say "life is short". What the f*ck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's longer?" (thanks mar :) still have the email) but still, it seems too damn short for my liking.

and i'm only 17 for God's sake. how am i gonna feel when im 60?
now there's a scary thought.



oh well. today's a new day i spose. make the most of it.

you lot do the same!

whoa whoa whoa!



there's only one reason
what i came here!
you really really wanna hear me tell you what's up?
YO!
you really really wanna hear me tell you what's up?
YO!
you really really wanna hear me tell you what's up?
yo! i came here tonight
to hear the crowd go
BOOM! shake, shake shake the room!



today..... was a pretty damn wicked day.... all in all.

started out feeling like shit.... partly moody and all. in fact i was right about up til school ended.
but then the mood picked up!
right abt Fahy's period i think it was, maybe. must've been the company :) (mar you're SO going "uh huh" innit :D)

and i realised, after school, on my way to town (where the fuck else?) with exo n mar n victor that life ISNT that bad. in fact it's really quite alright in some ways:

1) i've got friends in and out of school that i really like hanging with, and trust.
2) i'm a J2. i mean what the fuck?!
3) i didnt manage to be a total dao (to quote) idiot so much so that i stopped being friends with *you (i'd hit it aight? :D)
4) i can skate. i mean c'mon man!
5) i'm getting enough money to get by. well only just. but still!
6) looks like this year friendships wont be juxtapositions of any goddamn stupid things. they'll just be FRIENDSHIPS! i mean what the fuck, again!! that's just rad :)
7) not all teachers despise us. Fahy actually PRAISED us today. once and for all, what the fuck!!
8) i have a goddamn fucking FAN CLUB :D (awroight awroight)
9) everything FINALLY seems like it might be falling into place. wayyy cool.
10) the fact that i can find 9 other things to put on a list like this is, in and of itself, pretty wicked!



yeah so there's that.


and oh god, the fan club. that particular way of expressing what's apparently happening just cracked me up :)


so anw...... wandered arnd town for a while with mar n exo (well victor was there.... just didnt say much is all) parted ways with vic and escorted the princess (:D) back to orchard MRT (waiting wasnt a problem! not like we had anything to do anyhow :))

went over to exo's place afterwards, where i watched the Jackass movie. it was so good i need to devote a section to it:

JACKASS: THE MOVIE

those guys have FUCKING HUGE BALLS. Without a doubt they are more gutsy/ballsy/daring than me. the things they do are ABSOLUTELY stupid, often hilarious and wayy out there. for example, tying fireworks to your DICK (YES your DICK) and setting them off. or shoving a toy car up your ass (YES, your ASS! quit it!) then going and having an X-ray taken of it! or shoving raw meat into your underwear, then letting an alligator eat it right out of there. untamed, uninhibited alligators!
what the BLEEDING FUCK!

some of that stuff was HILARIOUS!

anw.... there's too much to say abt it now with too little time. i'll continue tomorrow maybe.




today really turned out pretty damn cool. hope the momentum proves to be something along the lines of a perpetual-motion machine (impossible, according to the laws of Physics, i know. fuck off!)


anw, this's me, signing off.

its been a long time
long time
i shoulda left you
left you
without a dull beat to step to
step to
step to
step - step to
*scratch* baby girl



school school blipetty school
how it does seem to drag
i've got a bitchy chinese teacher
the GP one's a hag.

(skinny little strangely voiced
butch-like fucking whore.
and if u ever read this
well hey, just hate me more)

a tad bitter do you think?
well nah i think it's fine
'sides, this aint your blog, y'noe.
its mine.



awroight what's new?


damn she's soooo far away.

_________________________________________



there's THAT.

_________________________________________


but let's not worry abt that. it really doesnt matter very much and in time it'll fade. i've been told these things do.




so that's two problems.



____________________


it continues to AMAZE, CONFOUND and STUPEFY me how some people have absolutely no conception of what life should really be like.

spose one day it'll hit them in the face like the proverbial concrete ground.




another thing would be the way people strive to sound intellectual some times. no person in particular (although JY leaps to mind quite quickly) but it is supremely annoying.




wonder how the J1s feel abt starting real school tomorrow? i can still remember last march... it was all kinda freaky.
now that j2's started it seems like its gonna be a fair sight easier than last year was in terms of pressure and work from teachers....... but in terms of stress, believe it or not i'm feeling it already. sat down and studied my history today of my own volition!

if that isnt a sign i dont know what is!


maybe all those damn pep talks are having an effect.



sure as hell is abt the only thing frm her that's having an effect at the moment... considering she's teaching us like we're a bunch of retards.


undoubtedly some of us ARE. but NOT EVERYONE!

:)



alright i'm pretty tired
i'm feeling pretty dead
so i think i might head off
to sleep and rest my head.

so adieu ya'll i bid to you
goodbye, so long, farewell
i'll go to sleep and say a prayer
that tomorrow wont be hell.

its all just so much bullshit
its all one big facade
the truth just seems to shatter
all i hold's a shard.
could never really trust you
now it seems i never will
so i'll write this poem
my feelings for to spill.





weird first day..... although kinda fun. had to cut my hair (or my "mop top" as its been called. i'll have you know its a very Geoff Rowley or Jamie Thomas hairstyle awroight? dont diss it! )



you stewpid bastard. you absolute li'l bastard.



so we've merged roight? its real noice.

interesting to see how things play out.


utterly hilarious! some things just dont change. exo and i were sitting together during econs and he got sent off to sit by himself.


ah the good old fuckin days of something or other.


so anyway... now i look like some preppy american college guy. its all short a la Rodney Mullen. what the hell?

spose it'll grow back. but GOD some guys are SOOOO hung up about their hair! they were all flipping out abt how it was gonna look terrible and all.







'ello. it sucks already mate.



but anyway. to each his own.



ah, the new J1s. well im consoling myself with the fact that most are gonna leave

AND GOOD RIDDANCE

but some can stay. there are a few ones which are fairly decent. i got to look at pretty much all of them today while i spent 5 hours waiting for my hair cut.



yes, 5.




bling bling.