young fools in love?? maybe, maybe. but i aint gonna be the one to just come out and say it!!
after all, victor's already done it for me, no? =)
these days it feels exceedingly weird to use that smiley. reminds me of times past.
(this isn't pertinent to today's overall theme, but i must needs include it: I love my wallet! and the source of my wallet! and no i'm not talking abt the damn credit card :) )
but anyway. this is a post largely dedicated to and extrapolated from victor!! ring a bell? yes indeed bitches and gentlemen (1000 points to whoever gets that. 1000 points. the points are meaningless. thats right, the points are like studying for Economics now) victor now gets the same treatment as joyce did!!
at this point, everyone should be scratching there (American spelling!! hahahahahahahaha. disturbing thing is, its true! most of 'em cant spell so good. i saw this guy spell "per say". please say you know how it shld be spelt) heads and thinking "hmmm whats the similarity between joyce and victor?"
before either of you start puking when the thought crosses my mind that maybe i perceive physical likeness (cunning eh. this way neither of you feel insulted. right??) its simply because both of you said things that i felt needed a rather wordy reply. and also because the both of you managed to say things that triggered off cogs in my head. so here, victor, is yours:
no problem abt the "words" , as you termed them. they are, after all, only words. but i did mean them. i completely identify with the views and ideas you expressed in your blog (there's a beautiful word that is very appropriate here: "nihilistic". doesnt that give you shivers? and i dont mean shivers as in "oh my god thank god that didnt come out for GP") i've felt that life is empty from time to time.... admittedly only for very brief periods (possibly hinting at how very rarely i'm completely lucid?). its been ages since i've felt that way, because i think i overcame that hurdle a while back. or maybe all those periods of emptiness were just my subconcious trying to make me like everyone else. i dunno.
but i do know the feeling absolutely sucks. keats wrote abt it once, i just cant rmbr what exactly. but food loses its taste, colours arent vibrant, books lose their appeal (and thats saying A LOT), friends cant do anything. you just gotta get something to find solace in. and then cling to that for dear life.
the other thing i identified wholly with was the friends issue. i gotta say its strange how removing the thing that brought you together can reveal how much of a relationship was marshmellows and fluff. im not just talking about any one person here, (altho one does jump to mind - or to half a mind, possibly. its disturbing how rarely you ever mean what you say. or what you write, for that matter. but at the end of the day you're always my friend, even when you don't know it. ironic, no?) i'm talking about the whole damn space-time continuum, eddies, swirls, sworls, twirls, supernovas, black holes, white dwarfs, red giants and all.
i think sometimes we can be blinded by the fucking rose-coloured contacts we look thru into believing everyone's a nice lovey-dovey pink coloured friend; someone who actually means what they say, and who wont leave you feeling used over and over again. befriended, used, then betrayed...... but never with an ounce (alright alright you fucking metric dickheads) i mean milligramme of guilt. because that's simply not in the "Fake Friendships for Dummies" guidebook, is it? i mean get with it already!
at the end of it all, however, i know that one of you truly was (is? will continue to be?) a friend, because there are some things you just cant fake. and when you said "it all just crumbled" it was only then that it struck me how much and exactly what i'd lose if our paths never crossed again.
very poetic, no? but i mean every single bloody word.
lastly: Yes victor. I hazarded a guess that maybe, JUST maybe, there might be the slightlest, slimmest, almost completely negligible chance that you were playing DOTA that night. cheers mate :)
after all, victor's already done it for me, no? =)
these days it feels exceedingly weird to use that smiley. reminds me of times past.
(this isn't pertinent to today's overall theme, but i must needs include it: I love my wallet! and the source of my wallet! and no i'm not talking abt the damn credit card :) )
but anyway. this is a post largely dedicated to and extrapolated from victor!! ring a bell? yes indeed bitches and gentlemen (1000 points to whoever gets that. 1000 points. the points are meaningless. thats right, the points are like studying for Economics now) victor now gets the same treatment as joyce did!!
at this point, everyone should be scratching there (American spelling!! hahahahahahahaha. disturbing thing is, its true! most of 'em cant spell so good. i saw this guy spell "per say". please say you know how it shld be spelt) heads and thinking "hmmm whats the similarity between joyce and victor?"
before either of you start puking when the thought crosses my mind that maybe i perceive physical likeness (cunning eh. this way neither of you feel insulted. right??) its simply because both of you said things that i felt needed a rather wordy reply. and also because the both of you managed to say things that triggered off cogs in my head. so here, victor, is yours:
no problem abt the "words" , as you termed them. they are, after all, only words. but i did mean them. i completely identify with the views and ideas you expressed in your blog (there's a beautiful word that is very appropriate here: "nihilistic". doesnt that give you shivers? and i dont mean shivers as in "oh my god thank god that didnt come out for GP") i've felt that life is empty from time to time.... admittedly only for very brief periods (possibly hinting at how very rarely i'm completely lucid?). its been ages since i've felt that way, because i think i overcame that hurdle a while back. or maybe all those periods of emptiness were just my subconcious trying to make me like everyone else. i dunno.
but i do know the feeling absolutely sucks. keats wrote abt it once, i just cant rmbr what exactly. but food loses its taste, colours arent vibrant, books lose their appeal (and thats saying A LOT), friends cant do anything. you just gotta get something to find solace in. and then cling to that for dear life.
the other thing i identified wholly with was the friends issue. i gotta say its strange how removing the thing that brought you together can reveal how much of a relationship was marshmellows and fluff. im not just talking about any one person here, (altho one does jump to mind - or to half a mind, possibly. its disturbing how rarely you ever mean what you say. or what you write, for that matter. but at the end of the day you're always my friend, even when you don't know it. ironic, no?) i'm talking about the whole damn space-time continuum, eddies, swirls, sworls, twirls, supernovas, black holes, white dwarfs, red giants and all.
i think sometimes we can be blinded by the fucking rose-coloured contacts we look thru into believing everyone's a nice lovey-dovey pink coloured friend; someone who actually means what they say, and who wont leave you feeling used over and over again. befriended, used, then betrayed...... but never with an ounce (alright alright you fucking metric dickheads) i mean milligramme of guilt. because that's simply not in the "Fake Friendships for Dummies" guidebook, is it? i mean get with it already!
at the end of it all, however, i know that one of you truly was (is? will continue to be?) a friend, because there are some things you just cant fake. and when you said "it all just crumbled" it was only then that it struck me how much and exactly what i'd lose if our paths never crossed again.
very poetic, no? but i mean every single bloody word.
lastly: Yes victor. I hazarded a guess that maybe, JUST maybe, there might be the slightlest, slimmest, almost completely negligible chance that you were playing DOTA that night. cheers mate :)
posted by Timothy at 12:53 am
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