Alright here's the entry dedicated solely (well pretty much) to the systematic and ruthless slaughtering of the trashy, uselessly, printed-crap-that-trees-shouldn't-have-died-for that is Zephyr. By virtue of this entry's nature, there will be no holds barred, but also, i hope, a decent measure of detachment. Since such an endeavour will doubtless inspire the hatred of many, I write it under the nom de plume of ........ Hepzibah. That's me alright!!


***short pause while i run off to get my booklet - one needs one's reference material. incidentally, how do you know a christmas card's from a leper?


His tongue's still stuck to the envelope.***



(Thomas Covenant, anyone?)


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Slaughterhouse Zephyr

Overview

This shoddy excuse for what is supposed to be a "Literary Publication" would make Keats, Wordsworth and Chaucer turn in their graves. Ok so maybe i'm reacting a little harshly. Admittedly, there are some pretty good pieces in here. But overall, its pretty shabby.

Disclaimer: I'm sure those in the know will think this is a bad case of one of Aesop's fables. Damn straight it is! My short story wasnt great, but i personally feel my poems, at least, were definitely better than the majority of the ...... stuff ..... that's made it into this mag. I mean, little blue ants crossing a bridge two times a day? GIVE A POOR QUIVERING SOUL A BREAK PLEASE.



Let us first turn our collective critical eye, then, to Natalie Yong's "Sanctity of the Mind".
To me, it reads like a child armed with a thesaurus, but lacking any knowledge of taste and completely without literary skill. The writer here has failed to realize that simply stringing together a long line of polysyllabic words does NOT make a wonderfully-worded sentence, much like stringing together a long line of atrocities apparently doesnt make Saddam Hussein a evil man deserving of being toppled. But i digress.
The opening sentence contains the atrocity that is "an iridescence of scintillating blood-red which danced haphazardly on the garish white walls." Ladies and gentlemen, is it even POSSIBLE for white walls to be GARISH?
Here the style is like a kid with an Uzi: insecure, unsure, randomly firing and dangerous as hell - in this case reading it has the hazardous effect of making you sick.
Plus the complete lack of originality inspires nausea. The whole thing turns out to be fake - like OH MY ALLAH!!! i've never heard that one before!! Let's see: The Game, The Matrix, the Thomas Covenant series, even The Sixth Sense; all these and many many more (many ad infinitum) share this twist, in one way or another.
For me the most painful thing about "Sanctity of the Mind" was the constant attempts to sound smart by using words which were handled like hot potatoes: BADLY. The time taken to read through this ...... article ..... passed, to quote - ironically - "in languid tedium", languid only being appropriate becaused i was sitting down at the time.
(Just before i go: tears coursed copiously down her ashen face augmented by grief." AUGMENTED by grief? to me this tends to imply that the tears were not generated by said grief. Onions, perhaps? Or eye drops? ARE WE TALKING ABOUT A FUCKING HOLLYWOOD ACTRESS HERE OR THE MOTHER OF A SICK CHILD?!!!!)




Moving along.......



***to relieve the vitriol: How do you save a taxman AND a lawyer from drowning?


Shoot them before they hit the water.***




Falling: Another kind of hell.

Alright i have to say this one was decent. No marks for originality or anything, but there were intriguing elements. (You still like that word J? :D ) the one thing that bugged me though was that it seemed like Ms Wei Man had a cool new word processor and was dead keen to show it off. "OOOO look i can do this: ShE hAd FoRSAKen HiM! and it can make my words go up and down in zig zag patterns! Mummy look!!!
Aside from that, the main thing that got me was the postscript. Please, dont try and be philosophical at 18 unless you're a starving child in Africa or something. i hate to say it, but we just dont know enough about life. Because of that, we get crap like some inane nonsense about what hell is.

ITS A BURNING PLACE OF SULPHUR AND FLAME.




***at this point i've just looked back and reread the title i gave to this. "Slaughterhouse Zephyr" - anyone get that? Its borrowing from what I personally feel is one of the best books of the 20th century. Think!!***



methinks the time for this entry has ended. rest assured i will continue in my next post.



Vote Republican.

ok, so there's like SO much to talk about.




(I just got my enlistment letter today. the dumb fucks actually expect me to enlist on the 8th of January next year. YEAH FUCKING RIGHT!! i'll burn my permanent residency and laugh in your faces. it does mean that i gotta leave soon though. OH WELL.)


(i also had a pretty damn fun day with kelli and jacq on Monday. WAY TOO MANY SMOKES THOUGH. felt like shit come tuesday =) but thanks for the experience. again!!!!)


but let's start with school coming to an end.



For me, its a time of unparalleled sadness - and maybe i shldnt be leaving yet, coz i'm still not sure if i spelt that right. but seriously, its the end of an era for me. school for 12 years - its really all i've ever known. school, school, and education: what else has there been?

so its coming to an end, and i'll be embarking on my journey of adulthood too soon for definite sanity. to be honest it scares the piss outta me. But at the end of the day its a necessary departure. all things come to an end, we know. except that this is going to mean the end of an existence as a student. the end of people saying "you've got so much potential" - potential doesnt count for shit in the real world. its what you do, how you perform, whether you can bring out what's supposedly in you that counts. no one gives two jots for "potential".

its also the end of much less dramatic things: the sheer stupidity of playing hockey with FUCKING METAL BARS, the utter neanderthalness of wrestling each other to the ground under the rules of some stupid Indian game (No racism intended! Which, coincidentally, is another thing which ceases to have the significance its had thus far) and so on. Its really the end of the age of innocence, no matter how innoccuous (there i go again i'm sure!) that may sound.

i'll always feel like getting off whatever bus i'm on if i'm going past CJ, just to go into the school and feel the memories crowd in around me; a colossal wave of nostalgia sweeping away whatever's current.

Stupid memories, and the most unlikely of friendships.

Exodus: fucking sonofabitch that i'm still in touch with - a bastard that only I ever seem to trust.

Timotheus: An undoubtedly intelligent man, and a worthy competitor. my only regret is that I NEVER TROUNCED YOU SOUNDLY ENOUGH FOR YOU TO STFU AND STOP BEING A PRETENDER TO THE THRONE THAT IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!
hahahaha. but much love.

Victor: wahhhhhhhhhhhh. ok la ok la. quite a funny guy, with interesting insights too. no need to say more la right?

Fiona: An interesting specimen, who's never been two-faced or dishonest, and always there.

Marissa: sheesh man is anything really necessary? absolutely life-changing (not every day you discover you've got a __i_ is it?!). suffice to say i will always be amazed at how things turned out, considering last year. may not have been the best of ways to wrap up '04, but hey i'm counting on the fact that in the long run it'll just be a little blip on the radar. Oh, and COLLAR PINS AND TAPES FROM PORTUGAL. =)

Phoebe: she's always been there when it felt like no one else was. and for that i'm always grateful.

Clara woon: !!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha a most amusing person, who, to my sorrow, i only recently discovered to be a human worth being friends with. nevertheless, all's well as ends well right?

Grace: only known this year, she's still been intrinsic to '04's warp and weft. the eviction episode, the drama of falling apart in Popular and being in need of an embrace (looking back now, the irony is a killer, really. look at the role reversal!). so yeah. love and thankfulness :)



there's too many for me to continue this and not turn it into a dreary boring entry - this is, of course, assuming it isnt that already. but for Wei Ting, Angelica, Daniel, Nicole, Irwin from T6, Bennett, Eugene, K-su, Rahul, ohhhhhhhhh god the list grows ever longer. Everyone from CJ who i've ever said HI!!!!! to (usually with an accompanying ugly face :D ) i'm gonna miss all of you.





Coming home
i take off not one badge
but two.
the second signifies
The end. The end of an era.
Removing the uniform, I gaze at its blueness
so reviled for so long
and yet now, treasured.
the irony kills, it does
but to what end?
To the purpose of distancing
the true depth of sadness
That wells up within
at the prospect of school
Ending.







Goodbye, school.






(stay tuned for the next entry, where i will RUTHLESSLY SLAUGHTER the contents of Zephyr, and simultaneously slander said contents' authors.)

~_Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha says:
oh God whatever. crisis resolved once more.

i like my humour dry. says:
wad crisis?

~_ I think i've just booked my place in Hell. Wonder if Tiger Airways flies there on the weekend? says:
oh my left arm spontaneously fell off my shoulder. but with some nifty needlework, i swiftly reattached it.

~_ I think i've just booked my place in Hell. Wonder if Tiger Airways flies there on the weekend? says:
THE CRISIS LA FUCK. STILL NEED TO ASK AH

i like my humour dry. says:
sorry i was distracted fer awhile

~_ I think i've just booked my place in Hell. Wonder if Tiger Airways flies there on the weekend? says:
hahaha its ok. was it funny tho?! the arm thing......

i like my humour dry. says:
sorry _______ keeps kissing me

~_ I think i've just booked my place in Hell. Wonder if Tiger Airways flies there on the weekend? says:
DAMN _____ I DIDNT NEED TO KNOW THAT.

damn man. i just thought that was fucking hilarious =) hope you people get a kick outta it too.







It seems i have the timing of a bomb. whenever i go off, you dont want to be anywhere near me.

once i had a bag of weed
but then it disappeared
thank God it then did turn up safely.
not in my room as i had feared.






i've spent pretty much the whole weekend thinking about nothing else. probably because next week's the last week of school ever, and it seems these days like school is the only thing which keeps us talking or in touch at all.
but i digress.
its funny how many fantastic memories can have accumulated (double C?) in such a short span of time. but to me, on the whole they add up to this: any friendship where you can share a sweater in a fucking cold dark room without having to even begin to worry about stupid ideas forming is one which we should fight to keep. any friendship where one person can say "i dont trust anyone" to which the other says "oh. its hard to be told that you're not trusted?" and the first responds "oh i trust you completely. God i just honestly thought of you as myself" is worth keeping. any friendship which is as weird, strange, and wonderful as this one has been is worth preserving.
and any friendship which, when gone awry somewhat, causes this much distress, is worth fixing.



i dont even know if you want to keep reading =) this much sappiness.... its unnatural. (Double N there for sure!)



its not so much that i'm worried, because i'm sure that things can heal - that's not impossible. (I found it extremely ironic that the conversation which restored my faith revolved around the potential collapse of one of your relationships - also particularly amusing that i was on the verge on congratulating you on what i thought was its success). This's just one of those things where it would really really be atrocious if all the time its just confusion on both parts.




Naturally, i could be being colosally delusional here, and the desire to continue could be entirely one-sided. but i don't think so.



some of the time today i spent thinking back, and some of the best things i can remember are when nothing was actually happening. the scene was just a long pointless bus ride, or an extended session at a sandwich joint - cookies included, naturally - or canine endeavours.
one that stands out particularly is, of course, Portugal, and the possibility of watching matches before everyone else in the country. Oh, and the number 26. =)



i'm sure some of what's happened is my fault - if i could take back my stupid joke i would, and maybe then everything would be alright. in the end though i think its all a big misunderstanding... and we've gone past those before right? reading your essays, for example? :)



i've believed in it as strongly as you have, and its never even begun to crumble. never will.








Alright that's enough. The pathos begins to smother.



Stay tuned for When Timothy Reminisces: Part 2 - When I was a baby, born at a very young age.......



************




I am absolutely elated that John Howard has won "a historical fourth term" in the Australian government. Now what would be nice would be if Bush trounces Kerry at the polls.

Anyone catch the weekend's debate? Leave a tag, with your polite but honest opinions =)


Personally i think Kerry and Bush both did pretty alright. Naturally i favour (perhaps "favor" is more appropriate in this context) Bush as the winner, because i WANT Bush to be the eventual winner. Kerry did show up pretty decent though, so all props to him.
He really did suck on the abortion issue tho.
One thing i would've changed vis a vis Bush: I wouldn't have done the "It simply isn't credible" thing too many times. Once repeated too often, it (dont kill me!!) Simply Isn't Credible.


:)

hmm several interesting things:


Luck's finally on my side. Minutes after woe threatened to knock me senselessly to the floor like a once-prize fighter - stricken by the sorrow (alliteration! marks please) of once again, ONCE AGAIN i say, coming so close to getting that A2 for fucking Khoo (Rhyme!! gimme some marks goddamnit!), most saddened by my 69 - like a mathematical ray of light, said Khoo's inability to correctly add marks once again manifested itself, giving me the blessed 1/2 mark necessary to give me a 70. Now that is like...... getting an A2 for GP.
words fail m .

:)

also:
Interesting conversation with Woon today. hush hush eh? be observant and DONT BE DENSE.
lemme know the results of your voyeurism.



Also:
i fear i've put my foot in it again. in fact i KNOW i've put my foot in it again. kinda strange that i'd do it to myself though isnt it?
self-directed apologies then.


ALSO:
my final grades for the prelims? a C for lit, a D for history (dont fucking ask. let me just share my misery with myself and be done with it. really, two supposed Cs BOTH becoming Ds is so.... DUMB.) and an E for econs - WHICH IS THE MOST FUCKEN HILARIOUS THING SINCE SLICED BREAD. 'ang on....
well anyway. the results arent great. anyone can see that. thing is, they're kind've relatively good y'noe what i mean? so its best not to complain.
The only saving grace is that i manged, by the sheerest luck, to beat Timo in two subjects - barely - thus managing to equal his feat of him beating me in, similarly, two subjects - badly.
so y'see, he really has done better than me. But hey, we're all allowed our little self-deceptions right?
so I'll keep fooling myself into thinking timo and I really were equal this time, and you keep telling yourself you can fly.
(Difference is, MY Boeing 747 wont come crashing down when i run outta 'shrooms =)



+++++

§ånC±µM-® : [-perhaps this silence is the only unadulterated truth-] says:
actually what isit tt distinguishes confidence from ego?

-§ånC±µM-® : [-perhaps this silence is the only unadulterated truth-] says:
the lines get pretty blurred dont they?

~_aiyah you all mai gei gei la. don't small look me says:
nah with me they're been well and truly crossed =)

+++++

(no prizes for guessing which nick was MINE!)







*listening to you talk, i'm beginning to wonder: Genuine intellect, or a well-read fake? The difference appears superficial, but is of paramount importance, I think.



Interesting point would be, though: If you're good enough and well-read enough to be a fake, are you REALLY a fake then? because such measures would require a mendacious mind which surely indicates intelligence anyway. In which case, the only person faking intelligence would be me, busy trying to sound insightful and perceptive where in fact no grounds for such analysis exists.
What irony. Someone turn it into an arresting stage play already.



just think of the poor little babies in the future, desperately trying to take apart "Timothy: The Play", searching for meaning where there is none.

Shakespeare must be laughing his little British ass off.




here's a thought: Would you rather be intelligent, or stupid?
think about it. A stupid person is probably pretty content with himself. but an intelligent person (Perhaps " " may be appropriate here) asks dumb questions like this.
For example, one of the "proofs" of God is that He must exist because we can conceive of Him. Couple that information with the sheer mass of dead bodies piled up by religious conflicts, and one comes to the conclusion that p'raps being smart aint such a great thing after all.
A stupid person doesnt torment himself with wondering about the motives of others - he just lives. isn't there an attractive simplicity inherent in that?



Sudden memory: I hadnt thought about it for ages, but it suddenly popped into my head. ___ broke down in tears one day during an econs lesson. sad...








Thought i'd end with this. Props to mar =)


billy connolly at his best.
Things I hate about everybody.

01 People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

02 People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

03 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". F*cking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

04 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

05 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the f*cking floor.

06 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?

07 When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

08 When people say "life is short". What the f*ck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's longer?

09 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?

10 People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what the f*ck did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?

11 When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really f*cking revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12 People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.

13 McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering. It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you f*cking McTosser.

14 When you're involved in an accident and someone asks 'are you alright? Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.




tell me you aint rolling on the floor =)

i thought this was absolutely hilarious:

The Natalya's Odium fade ability turns the Assassin Ethereal in appearance once she has completed this set. This has no gameplay impact beyond looking very cool and making other players jealous.


to actually come out and SAY something like that just seems funny to me. i dunno maybe i'm the only one.




here's a new word (at least its new for me) :scotomaphobia. it means blindness in the visual field.

now if you're thinking "Isn't blindness ALWAYS in the visual field? what the fuck?!" I too am wondering the same thing... p'raps all along blindness has meant an ear malfunction and we've all been wrong?
but seriously, ask Randy, or check it up yourself.

WHATEVER it means....... cool word huh :)







you're really starting to get on my nerves. its just your incessant ...... ANNOYING behaviour. but if i'm to do fun stuff i spose i gotta maintain a certain measure of civility. if i had my way there'd be a paucity of goody-goodyness.






somehow i dont feel i have it in me for a really long entry tonight. i'm slowly getting increasingly wasted as school goes by, which's funny, coz its not like i'm DOING anything in school but waste time. i think there's an irony - which leaves a sour taste in my mouth - in the complete lack of activity making one more tired.





hahhahahahahha "FUN STUFF". now there's a name.





results all come out tmr, and i cant say that that's a good thing. it hasnt been the best exam period ever..... let me count the ways:

1. Timo beat me in history. TIMO BEAT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'nuff said.

2. Once again, the A2 for GP remains elusive - a fucking will o' the wisp. you do great for one paper, you fuck up the other. i think the GP teachers are trying to send a message: "QUIT TRYING!!" while at the same time maliciously grinning away. wouldnt it be nice if their smiles got so wide they went 360 degress, and the top of their heads just FELL OFF?!
HOW'S THAT FOR A FUCKING GP ESSAY?! "GP teachers are malicious creatures with hidden agendas." Discuss.

3. Nothing's been even remotely close to good overall. i mean there're individual areas which did well, but what's the point if the final score sucks?

4. The fact that i can come up with 3 things concerning why the prelims sucked is in itself a reason. voila.



on the other hand, *I have done surprisingly well. i swear, if one more teacher says "But dont slack now" i will dissolve into utterly hysterical laughter. IF THEY ONLY KNEW!




Here's a story (which is true, believe it or not):
I went to school on Saturday (lets not get started on the "School on Saturday" debate. suffice to say Singapore's...........unbalanced) to do another GP mock exam (ditto).
so we were doing Paper 1 first (I'd make some sarcastic comment like "Funny how that works, Paper 1 being done first", but for the prelims, we did History's Paper 2 before Paper 1, so i kinda can't. But i digress) and i was doing my thing..... sleeping, not writing and all. Timo calls it my "Display of the white man's arrogance", which is not without truth - not that you heard it here. the questions were INCREDIBLY boring - the one i did was "In today's society, to be big is to be powerful. Discuss" (Obviously i agreed. i mean c'mon. just ask any porn star) so i really had zilch in the way of motivation to write. So fahy comes up and squats by my table, and says "If none of the questions interest you, I suggest you come up with your own, and answer it. I think that's alright for you". Now THAT is pretty damn cool! He obviously a) thinks i'd do well enough if i did that, which's nice, and b) recognises the fact that the whole thing is an utter farce anyway.
Fahy was always a perceptive man :)





i think the ethereal nature of friendships isnt really tested until the situation that gave rise to it is removed. that's the time of truth. something to think on eh?








This is the way the world ends/not with a bang but a whimper