first off: darryl, i love you man. glad i got you to proof read this post. and thanks for making me see that my earlier actions were only gonna perpetuate this madness. thanks for keepin tryin to persuade me. other ppl woulda given up. i thank Him for you.
of course this is also complete flattery... considering you're reading this while im talking to u. but hey its all good :)

chermaine u absolutely crack me up.
"Welcome to the real world" huh. and what would YOU know about it? try living in it on your own for a day or two.
and "stop trying to salvage the situation" : evidently you cant read. didnt i say nice and explicitly (just for ppl like you - obviously its not enough) that i WASN'T trying to?
at least not with you.
damn right i hear you. what's it to you?
cos i didnt do any goddamn thing
to deserve all yer shit. - in case you didnt notice, i didnt SAY u did! i asked you why, and i told you that i thought you'd made things worse. i didnt SAY you did anything. and by the way, easy on the swearing eh :)

and please, you should noe by now that i'd tell it straight to your face if i was pissed at you at all. if you really think i've been leaving the tags on yours AND cindy's AND victor's (on victor's i've actually RESPONDED havent you noticed? or are you just choosing to ignore that like so much else?) then obviously nothing i can say will change your mind anyway. but for everyone else, cmon i have slightly more of a life than to do that. slightly.

i never did call u bitch actually. i HAVE already told you this. but hey if you aint gonna believe me well then thats your problem isnt it? i DID see exo send the msg. and this line: "or u were "too tired" that u dont rem?" just makes absolutely no sense dear. i told you MYSELF that i didnt send it. so for crying out loud OBVIOUSLY i remembered right? c'mon.

"how do u expect us to belif u after all the backstabbing uve done?" i pose the same question straight back at you chermaine. one person in particular would quite possibly be interested in what you've had to say in the past i suspect. think "worm" if you've conveniently forgotten about the fact that you're not innocent either. why dont you take the day to reflect along with me? if you think about it, you're one of the ones i've never said anything bad about... i loved ya y'noe. ur damn fun to be around. but hey its all good.

WTF as to getting pissed with mar for ten minutes? hey it aint my problem if it takes you longer than that to get a grip on your emotions. but thats all it took for ME to realise i was being stupid getting angry. deal with it if you cant do the same.

one thing. i absolutely agree with you about the arrogance thing. but im not supposed to apologise any more coz you "dont fuckin appreciate that." so suffice to say that im gonna rein it in AGAIN. i let it slip real bad. that i noe.

"do ya noe ur "obeservings" & "predictions"
are fucking hurting?" it seems mar's told you about them. or you heard it from other sources. either way, you werent meant to hear them. sure i shouldnt have said it in the first place i noe. but my intention was never to hurt any of you. do you lot realise that all this is hurting me real bad too? admittedly i brought some of it upon myself. but i dont noe how on earth its gotten this far. whatever the cause is, it hurts really really really badly. like i've said, i dont hate any of you. all i want is for things to be back to how they were, and a chance for me to NOT be an arrogant prick any more so that things stay nice.

but there've always been problems it seems. arrogance or otherwise.

strangely enough i dont think i'll "top the whole bloody school". i just think i CAN. and the possibility excites me. that excitement comes out as arrogance. and this's the result. like i said, it wont happen again. but then that doesnt really matter anw coz i only was arrogant to my friends and we arent that any more are we? so you've got things made really. even if i continue being arrogant, you'll remain unaffected. so you're happy whatever happens. very smooth.

who noes what's gonna happen? charine tells me things'll get better. i dont see how they can. cindy: i'd really love to make it up to you somehow. yeah.... i really would. i dunno abt the others. seems they're just too pissed.

just so everything's nice and clear, here're the people i've bitched abt from T3 (Mustnt go outside of the class or this post'll never end :D). Mar, fiona, victor, daniel, phoebe, terence, ren jun, clara. if you're surprised that you're not there cindy and chermaine, well i dunno. i've always tried to be nice to you two. not that i place you any higher or lower than everyone else. just that that's the way things have turned out. one of you in particular: think about this: outta that list, you've bitched about five of them, and one of those five you basically arent even friends with any more. so maybe you should ease up a little on the accusations with backstabbing. your hands are blood stained too. keep up the anti-arrogance tho. i need it.

i think that just about does it for today. study's fine.

perceptive ones amongst you will notice that i didnt swear once myself there. only swear words are, ironically, lifted from the blogs of the very ones who are telling me NOT to swear. somewhat representative of some of the stuff thats going down right now.

replay last night.
talking it out dont make it right.