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and thats how im gonna start this entry.
y'noe some day im really gonna get fucking pissed. really

anyhow. enuff angst.

-+- short note: i've got mar's Spiderman soundtrack playing now. man its good. sure its a lil old. but watever. nice nice nice -+-

went to bed at 2 this morning. n had to wake up at 7.30 this morning. now some of you i noe can handle that. but i aint one of them (obviously. otherwise my name'd be charine or kristen or something) so yeah i was bloody tired. went to Church of Praise with the guy who's staying with me n my dad. i really love hanging out with adults y'noe. much more the teens in many ways. they're just much more INTELLIGENT ppl. n they noe so much more than ur average dopehead. so it was cool hanging out with the two of them. felt really really australian, relaxed n all. plus the aussie sense of humour is something totally unique. nothing like it anywhere.
this's really something i treasure a lot. n its really a joy to have australians around. i love my culture and heritage as an australian almost more than anything else i can put my finger on. im not saying its magnificent coz it definitely isnt. but i treasure it heaps.
so anw. at Church of Praise i saw that girl from 2t03. germaine i think her name is. she's REALLY cute!! plus we both recognised each other n she gave me this knock-out smile. like -whoa- my heart skipped a few beats, then totally left my body to go daydream abt her in some dark corner. it then took a coffee break for abt 10 minutes before coming back to rest inside my rib cage. the girl is gorgeous. really. i miss her!
then i went to meet my homies at PS. now some of u are probably thinking "homies. bloody ang moh bastard acting black when he's a fucking glow-in-the-dark white boy". well yeah maybe its justified sometimes. but this time arnd i really cant think of a better term to express the feeling i have for my maris stella friends. i just totally flip out with them. i mean sure 1T03's alright. but everyone is so fucking uptight in it y'noe wat i mean? everything's so stringent. "oh ur being such a fag" "ur so bitchy" blah blah blah ad nauseum. its really only with my marists (speaking only of s'poreans) that i can totally cut loose n freak out. n i treasure that. gotta hang with them a lil more. they're really a good bunch. kinda freaky how some totally havent changed though.
so yeah. i met them n we went to Meridien to play pool. which was fun. but the real fun was in the conversation n the walking arnd n all. i just thoroughly relaxed... completely. that'll never be seen in CJC. absolutely never. it'd be impossible! ppl there require a lil more sanity. n they take everything a lil too seriously. n coz they do i do in return. 'cept with marists, my friends at least, i cant speak for ALL marists, i can do just abt anything without being hated. it was wonderful to just mess arnd with them.

**k as u can tell it really gave me a buzz. yeah it totally did. still high on it**

then the group sorta dissolved. so i walked arnd a while with Josh (u better be in here u nigga! gave u the addy already). wound up at Long John's at Cine. talked n stuff. ur a good guy man.

i messed arnd a whole lot with accents today too. that was cool. im gonna miss the freedom i had today i noe

anw


went to meet Cindy at mcdonalds at Wisma afterwards to kill time. which was fun! altho i didnt noe mar n victor were gonna show up.....

anyhow. killed time with them for a while. then left... supposedly to go to a church function. now here's the deal: i was SUPPOSED to be going to Anywhere Bar at Tanglin n then to Harry's tonight. so the deal was that i'd go to church n then get a lift afterwards with a coupla ppl. but then apparently that got cancelled. so then i figured, fuck it i'll go home. was too tired to go with cindy n the rest to go watch Pirates of the Carribean. whatever.

'cept now i'm like wide awake. i'll see if i can convince anyone to go to harry's. tonight's jam night!! i wanna see Michael Stanton n Christy Smith!

**fucking irritating when ppl get all uptight coz u ask them something that's fucking true. n its fucking irritating when confidentialty n all is fucked. motherfucking pain in the ass**

yeah there's a lil of the good ole anger running now. no real reason la. just a little peeved.


what's new right? crazy white bastard (took the words right outta ur mouth there didnt i exo? _|_ )

oh well. i miss hanging out with my homies man. i really do

reflection: there's a difference between "im his close friend" n "we're close friends" isnt there? been thinking abt it. coz i reckon some ppl who I hold as close friends dont feel the same way in return. think abt it. quite possibly the ppl who u really treasure dont give as much of a damn abt u as u do abt them. kinda sad really

i dont noe
how to go with the flow
everything's so godddam screwed
there's no one
under the sun
by whom i havent been used
at least that's how i feel
dunno if its real
who really gives a damn
if its true
heck i've been used by YOU
guess thats just the way i am.
usable


Hello, hello, hello, how low?
With the lights out it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My Libido
Yay!


cya all u phonies. tata all you fake friends.

n for all my genuine ones, a heartfelt big up to ya.