words cannot begin to express how i feel right now, but nevertheless here's my effort:

pissed/annoyed/irritated/aggravated beyond all measure of control/amused/sardonic/sarcastic/high/slightly off-balance/semi-homicidal/reaching breaking point/miserable/upset/inner pandemonium/where the hell's my centre and my balance?




i spose while i'm at it (or "one supposes while one is at it" mayhaps?) i may as well put this next bit in here. its a collection of words and phrases/random thoughts that have popped into my head during the course of Term 2 - God knows there's enough boredom to generate lots of words - which i recorded on the last sheet of paper in my writing pad. enjoy, if at all possible:


sketches denial megalomania nepotism dead men sell no sales count your chickens before they hatch the marriage of the living dark dying into life exhiliration John Keats, five feet high Bavarian Gentians Letter from Belgium shoes, ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings Dante up, down, left, right, strange and charmed the long dark tea-time of the soul thus we shall see, if power changes purpose, what our seemers be Alpha Centauri Andromeda Orion pulsars a thousand glass knives the rictus smile of a corpse dessication arbitrarily-decided fate wherefore the blind oblivion of sleep teach the stars to sing je ne sais quoi Queen's Gambit Declined Tarrasch's Defense Fianchetto Jesus eyes Sailing to Sarantium William Butler Yeats Chaucer waiting for the fever to break Noise. Never ending noise We're all sitting here, chewing our tongues off Preparation the day will come when all will know the truth behind those pretty eyes Effortless Delinquency Her svelte figure, so inspiring summons





rather a mess isn't it? but i find it quite fascinating, remembering it all. i mean, look at the myriad influences evident! we've got chess moves (those of you who recognise what i'm talking abt, come play a game with me sometime by all means), astronomy, Guy Gavriel Kay, lots of Keats, some dumb Australian song (which nevertheless i do so love), a whole bunch of other stuff, mixed in nicely with some original thoughts from yours truly. very flow-of-consciousness style, if you know what i mean. (if you sloshy what i am govereeting :D)



and with that (and a nick change online) i've totally lost all mood to blog. God i hope things are alright..... tho my idea of alright might be different to my other idea of alright. i just hope i'm ok.