been a while.


anyhow. something today struck me... something that poignantly reminded me of the sad transient nature of things. only problem is, i can't remember what it was.
ironic, isn't it? even the thought itself was transient. how very fitting.



life is fleeting.



today i had a horrifyingly self-cognitive moment. i found myself wanting to simply fill silence with inane conversation. this disgusts me! i abhor that! it repulses me! (u getting the vibe i'm giving out?) that's always been something that pissed me off abt other ppl. so let's just say that i'm real glad i stopped before i actually did it.


meta-cognition is a WONDERFUL thing, y'noe. really is :)


no but seriously, it is.




hot and bothered i sit here
contemplating things
my heart pumps blood throughout my whole
and while doing so, doth sing.



"doth". really that's one word that is beautiful.
another thing i wanna bring back, big time: "Brethren". now isnt that a great word?
and the phrase "You are a god to me". now THAT'S a good one. you'll all be hearing that one a lot :)


there's a whooooooooooole lotta stuff going on out there that i dont noe should be happening. but its not my life, so i'ma butt outta it.
just you lot all take care. self-destruction's messy, painful, and leaves little in the way of body parts for your family to bury.



oh. biggest news of the moment. FINALLY got my fucking GOLD for NAPFA. so fuck that.

been thinking abt actually going for NS, strangely. it would be cool to go to OCS.

wadya think?



fucking fragile just like glass
sits in just the next door class
hope you dont start to cry
if this next guy flies right by





alright that might not be the best poetry ever, but i just got sent an example of, quite possibly, the WORST. in all honesty, reading it inspires in oneself something along the lines of the sensation of having one's arms brutally ripped off, then forcibly shoved up one's nether regions.


it aint pretty!



perhaps if we all sat back as older people and contemplated our lives, it'd all make sense. i'd like to think so, because lots doesnt make any sense at all right now. i think what happens is that we push this big ball of uncertainty and confusion in front of us, ever onwards, as we get older, always dreaming of a time when we'll have the answers. thing is, i think we never get them. we just wander AND wonder our way through life, the universe and everything. the only answer we EVER get is 42.




Death is nature's way of telling us to slow down.