Saturday, April 03, 2004

what would drive a person to stick her head in a gas oven after having prepared breakfast for her own flesh and blood, the only reason for her actions a desire to kill herself?

what about despair so all-consuming, so absolutely absolute, that it seemed all else was swallowed up in this giant hovering black cloud of depression? a total loss of purpose. the end of all meaning to anything?

I think that would just about do the trick, don't you?

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exo's withdrawn. what the fuck. with that my best friend leaves the school.

god DAMN it.

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its funny. i don't even LIKE sylvia plath's poems. and yet she's starting to pop up now and then in here isn't she?




who would've guessed it? who the fuck would have?

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ever feel slightly guilty... over what, exactly, you aren't quite sure... but there's something you should feel guilty about? you just can't put your finger on it?




i haven't. what's it like?

:)

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i bet ya'll thought i was throwing you something there didn't you



man i could ramble on all day. its scary.


*my stomach's filled with butterflies.



this girl on the bus i take in the morning's caught my eye, surprisingly. maybe................. i must say it would be nice to go for someone. its been a while.

we'll see, then.


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what about when you feel something's wrong, but you're not quite sure if anything is, so u decide not to say anything? but the feeling colours all your actions... making things weird. until finally something IS wrong. self-fulfilling prophecy, kinda.


now THOSE are the stupid ones. mentally kick myself every time i do it.

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if we could hover between brackets
for all eternity
maybe
we would be able to feel safe
for the first time

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"it means a slow insidious spreading of similarity which threatens the continuity of indigenous life"

really, i didnt realise at the time, but its a pretty nice sentence :)

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i've been thinking. even when we're skateboarding, *you seem to be floating around inside my mind. even when i've got u beside me (on your bloody Element deck you bitch :D) what does that mean?


part of me fears to follow that thought thru.
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if i had a million bucks
i'd run away from here
hide away somewhere
in the southern hemisphere

probably down in sydney
where all the good parks are
maybe down in Paramatta
where i'd walk. it ain't that far

that'd be cool.

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that's my time.

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