some people just make me want to puke! self inflicted crisis and so on should not be overly bemoaned. its just dumb.

oh well to each his (or her. lets not be sexist here :D ) own.

it sweeps through my soul like a forest fire
burning all in its path.
in a mighty charge it tramples all in its way
like a herd of Arabian stallions.
as pure as the black of their glossy hides
it purges my being of anything else.
inundating my mind with a fiery emotion
at once painful ecstasy and sweet torture.


"returneth it doth! Returneth indeed!"
Verily i cry unto you.
wherefore art thou of such potency
to wreak such havoc upon one
such as I, but a mere mortal.
Cry Fie for shame!
or else give myself unto this passion i must
Ere it disintegrate the very fibres of my being.


Trust me there's some meaning in there. even if only I know what it is. someday maybe i'll tell some of you. no promises though!


its wonderful when the mighty (or people who THINK they're mighty. there's an important difference. but for the sake of this paragraph this difference shall remain unexplored. for the moment) fall. when their arrogance is wiped right OFF THEIR FACES. leaving them drowning in doubt. or else not. frankly speaking who gives a damn?


the fact that once more i am entrusted with choice bits of information means that..... well who cares what it means. i shouldnt have asked anyway should I :) but im hoping (sorta against hope. but lets not get melodramatic and pessimisstic here "aight?" :D ) that i can be sure once more of friendship. its surety that i sue for in all friendships. the surety that it'll be alright to tag along.... or if not that the person'll tell you. the surety that one can have some solitude for a while without losing friends. (i believe mar you put it best when u said something abt being friends without having to talk every single fucking day). so yeah its surety that i'd love to have. of course that surety comes through long periods of trust exchanged and kept. trust held sacred. so we cant jump the gun can we? :)

but hey hope IS hope. dont diss it people!

alright before i become that most hated of beings, an inspirational guru (god the venom in some of the entries abt that Adam Khoo guy!)..... yeah where was i?

hmmm lessee...
oh yeah. PW today was a complete waste of time. abso-fucking-lutely pointless. but hey wats new right? :)
chinese was more fun than i expected. wat with cellulite and calf excercises to get rid of the HUGELY excessive fat (before u lash out think of all that "fagotty frail fingers" CRAP and stFu! :D ) . plus thanks to the efforts of the very diligent Fiona and Mar i had to do absolutely nothing! entertainment was also provided in the forms of one very fucked up girl and a donkey called exo (u cld make a movie! think abt it: From the makers of "A Fish called Wanda" comes...... . it cld work! :D )
yeah chinese was fun.

after chinese it was the rather strange group of me exo n mar that made our merry way to town (bravely flying in the face of orders frm that most holy of authoritive figures, the great aussie BP himself. i am ASHAMED sometimes to be a citizen of the same country as him. but only sometimes). so yeah i dont think i've ever gone to orchard with only those two before. exo wanted to dye his hair.... lets not go there alright? suffice to say mar and I wasted a WHOLE bunch of time with him :)
kinda fun.

*oh yeah i noticed one or two sychro-sentences (cool huh? :D ) today. now its been a LONG time since THAT'S happened indeed.

met cindy n Ian afterwards... ate at Lido.
subsequently threw up most of my lunch. only God knows why. felt fine before eating. felt like shit afterwards. which's weird too. normally i feel great after expunging whatever it is that was bugging me. oh well.

aid was provided in the form of Mar's Mandarin (:D ) thanks a bunch girl. it really helped. i didnt talk the whole way there.. sure sign of discomfort. hell i was worried i was gonna puke in the lift!
anw... got to the MJ room and slept it off.... woek up to find myself in a room of unconcious ppl. cindy n exo were asleep... leaving me with some pool tournament (damn they are GOOD!). mar had gone to the gym... making me feel guilty n fat in the process. good one :)

hmmm char showed up. nice to see u sweet thang! exo n i wrestled like fuck. bastard almost broke my right shin n thigh bone! FUN! :D whole lotta innuendo-laden talk with char too. but she always says she dont mind if its me. so ok then :)

felt fine after sleeping... made my way home with exo. god i LOVE that song! yeah anw.
tonight of ALL nights i wish i was out there.... a denizen of the night with ppl that im realising i dearly love. kinda late for some innit?! figures.

+i wanna kill the fuckers who give u cause for worry and pain. i wanna tear their goddamn hearts out. makes me shrivel up inside to hear some of the shit that happens.

some ppl are pure. not so much in a physical or even mental sense. its very hard to define. some people are just.... special. different. not naive, but wonderful.

spose that better do for tonight. hope everyone's having a great time! my life is as good as i can remember it being this year in some ways. better, even. thanks to all who've made it so. God bless every one of you.

to all who leave CJ this year
we'll still love u. have no fear.
every one who leaves the class,
will not just fade into the past.

deep in our hearts we'll keep you near
your names will whisper in our ears.
your faces we'll hold in our mind's eye
and memories will tide us by.


if only i knew what to do, i would do it ever so quickly. but i dont. and the confusion kills.


Its amazing how a little information can result in such an enormous output of conjecture.