my life sucks.

thing is, lotsa ppl i noe right now wld reckon that my life is a whole lot better than theirs. but it aint.

ok hold up. a lil backtracking is necessary for those who aint in the know.

so today's tuesday right? alright. yesterday was monday. and yes we did get back our results. so here they are: Economics - 47 E
History - 50 D
Literature - 59 C
GP - 65 B3
Chinese - 36 E8

yeah. so there u have it. after adding the mid years it becomes C for lit D for History and E for econs. in other words still the same.

now some of you are probably wondering "what the fuck is the problem? tim being an arrogant prick again?" and that'd be an understandable thing to think - except for the fact that im being pulled outta school by my dad.

yes. pulled out of school (excuse the drama but its justified or so i feel. if u dont think so well get the fuck out of my hair. now really isnt the time) coz i failed Chinese. the fact that my Econs is below 50 doesnt help either. but for fuck's sake i MORE than made the minimum for promotion! everywhere i look - even in mighty T7 - people are falling like flies. outta every three ppl 2 seem to be having to take supplementary papers or worse still being retained without a chance of trying again. and here i am - within the top 3 for 3 outta 5 subjects, automatically promotable - and im leaving school. it strikes me as VERY WRONG that everyone else shld be reduced to begging for marks while i HAVE what is needed and am not to be allowed to continue by my fucking father.

suffice to say i am very very very depressed. i was dreading chinese... justifiably it has been seen. no matter how hard i try i can never seem to do well enough to get good marks - or even pass. and now its the end.

so... i'm not even sure if i'm going to school tomorrow. i kinda think most ppl think its all like some joke and i'll be in school next year - probably coz the idea of someone being promotable and WITHDRAWING from school just seems too ludicrous to believe. but its true ladies and gentlemen. Mrs Siva's offered to speak to my dad tomorrow (coz she cant believe it either) but i know that's highly unlikely to help. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. i cannot believe this is happening.

what happens if i do withdraw, some have asked. quite simply: my education stops here. no more school, no poly, no LaSalle, no NAFA, no Australian unis, nothing. nada. zip. zilch. zero. end of the road buddy. abso fucking lute end of the line. helluva way to go innit? i'd start work. and i'd hafta give my dad $400 by this saturday to pay for November's rent. fucking fab aint it?

i'd like to wake up thinkin
that this is all a dream
but the fucking thing is that it aint
its exactly as it seems

whilst all arnd me people fall
like corpses in a war,
i, who actually HAVE made it
get pulled out. but wait there's more

besides being pulled out, my friends
i ALSO cease to learn.
no more school and no more books
strangely for them i yearn.

ask me how i feel, i'd say
"of course i feel fucked up!
why the fuck is my dad a motherfucking son of a bitch?
Guess its just my luck."


in other news, i'm in school right now. everyone's disappeared. leaving me with absolutely nothing to do. what a way to end (possibly) my last day eh?


fuck all this bullshit