fuck. thats all i can say. n no im not pissed. just more depressed than i have ever been in my entire life. only one person reading this shld noe wat im talking bout. n i wanna keep it that way so im not saying anything. n no its no one's fault. just the same stuff happening again. funny how the mind can convinve itself of things it knows are absolutely untrue. fuck it all. im crying already.