its been a while/ and all this shit/ gets even worse when im with u/ i cannot blame this on another/ she's the one who does this to me/

so i modified Staind's song a lil. like sue me! :D

first off i havent updated this for several days. so be prepared for the deluge. not that MUCH has happened... but then i'm "talkative and inattentive" to borrow a phrase (more on this later) so i tend to ramble and get sidetracked. n in my current mood (tired n aching) im liable to tell anyone who DOESN"T like my style to FUCK OFF n BURN IN HELL. so dont mess arnd with me. 'least not today. mess with me all u want tomorrow.

lets see. its been 4 days since my last entry. lets start with Saturday then, shall we. (voices of dissent do i hear? well go somewhere else!!! :D )

very well.

SATURDAY

V. boring. the end.

ok so im kidding :) lemme try that again.

SATURDAY
had my last guitar lesson for a while... im stopping guitar till after promos. means my sat's are quite a lot freerer... but ill really miss guitar n my teacher. i've only had three or four ppl in my life who've really made me look at life n the way i think in a different way... n he's the number one person. anw... i played some really nice Renaisannce songs. in Mixolydian mode if thats means anything to u (k probably not. but on the ooooofffffffffff chance that it DOES... yeah :) )
after that.... oh yeah. went to Orchard n met Dudley. then proceeded to play pool. dud yer improving!! also met Jenn Wei... a regular dickhead frm maris stella. thot he was damn pro. but i beat him so yeah he aint that good :)
then i went to pick up my family's new car. which brings me to another topic. something's definitely up. my parents arent telling me anything, but the sudden downgrade of car speaks volumes (God i sound like a lit teacher. well watever). so yeah. that probably explains why my parents are all uptight. at least explains a little.
then church... same old stuff. i really really really enjoy church all the time. its really fun. ppl there are fantastic. plus (no offence) its really nice to get away frm Singaporeans for a while. n its easy to do that in church.

SUNDAY
interesting day. as one is supposed to do in an introduction (yes this IS an intro. its at the beginning. like DUH. wat are u SMOKING man? ) i shall outline the topics with which this section shall deal with. basically, sunday was about eating. big time :D
started off the morning nice n early at 8. went to Mariott for a buffet breakfast. so i was understandably stuffed! then came home, where we had invited ppl over to lunch. which meant (u guessed it) MORE eating. fun! THEN.... i had to not go study with the bunch in Orchard, rather needing to go to my friend's place where i had DINNER (yes that means more food. generally meals such as dinner and lunch INVOLVE the consumption of food) i also swam for THREE FUCKING HOURS without goggles. my eyes were COMPLETELY fucked. spent the whole evening seeing double. and used up one whole bottle of eyedrops that night. fucked up man. but oh well watever.

which brings me to:

MONDAY
fucked. completely. had my parent-teacher meeting. a lil background info. my parent-teacher meetings have NEVER been good. ever since i started school they've been VERY bad. this one was, of course, no exception. i got screwed la. my dad came down (right after PE no less. i mean how fucked up can it be? just did like 300 crunches and dunno how many diamond push-ups (yes they HURT. shlders hurting even now. then again maybe thats just me. oh no no victor was asking me to massage him today. must have affected more than me) so yeah i was all shagged n fagged. then i had to listen to Siva read out comments n all. lets see: she said my GP is good. one of the best in the level. hardly anyone got distinctions blah blah blah. she also said (somewhat surprisingly) that i think more maturely and more creatively than my classmates. i aint saying its true (then again i aint saying its NOT. read whatever u want into that :D ) but yeah i was a lil surprised. EVERTYHING went downhill after that. she said the same old crap: "its really quite shameful that he's wasting his potential like this", "he's highly intelligent, but not maximising himself", and, worse, "he's very talkative and hardly pays attention", and, of course, courtesy of that BITCH who has the audacity to call herself a TEACHER, " he has to be contantly reminded to hand in his homework". no prizes for guessing who THAT was. (look u cant be THAT thick can u? scratch that. u probably can. its my chinese teacher. right now i bet ur going "oh yeaaaaaahhhh" aint u. sheesh :D )
nothing much else happened on Monday. the above event is wat really stood out.

and since Tuesday generally comes after Monday, the next section is titled

WEDNESDAY

(k ill cut the crap :D )

TUESDAY
nothing really happened during school hours. oh yeah hold on. i was quite happy that i managed to understand the question rite for JY's test. sorry mar i thot u understood wat i said! oh well....
after school i went n ran 8 rounds with mar. fun... n good exercise too. i ran 12 rounds total today. not bad :D hope to heaven i do well for my 2.4 next week or im liable to flip. then we sorta slacked arnd school for a while.... playing volleyball n shooting some hoops... interspersed with running :D . NOTE: i've kinda lost my touch with basketball. granted every shot i got was a silent one, but there weren't enough of them. must get round to playing more. -determined look n all that- . then got changed n went back with mar.

--- to the person or people who were upset today, regardless of whatever it was, dont let it get to u. lotsa ppl are absolute bitches (or bastards. mustn't get sexist here) so yeah fuck them n dont care abt 'em either---

possibly the most interesting thing abt today: talked to Victor today. he's really a strange guy. sometimes i think he's an absolute DICK, n other times he completely surprises me. i guess he's a surprising dick then aint he :D (considering im sposed to be giving him my addy today i probably shldnt talk like that. well victor once ur here: heck la rite??!!!! :D ) yeah well... i learnt quite a bit. one thing that hit me tho: he was kinda surprised that a feeling of mine hasnt died out yet. n he basically said its pathetic. which got me thinking: yeah it IS fucking pathetic! n why on earth hasnt it died away yet?? its been FOUR MONTHS. well at least this way i know its something real n not just a passing phase.

why the fuck am i still
hung up on one girl
its not like she is
the only one in the world

but then again i guess
she sorta really is
y'see to me she burns brighter
(all the others just fizz)

i guess that is why
i'm still hung up bad
its weird. sometimes im happy
n sometimes dead sad.

oh well guess ill wait
n see what comes out
of this feeling of mine
n wat its about.

yeah that sorta sums it up.

i've got ppl asking for reading material!! under pressure here :D
i really wish some things in my life'd sort themselves out. its highly frustrating n more than a little confusing

why's it like this
i just like bliss
i dont want crap
i dont want flap
i just want REAL
the whole full DEAL
i just want her
dont needa concur
i noe wat i need
upon wat my heart feeds
i noe wat it'll take
to stop my heartbreak
i noe who i want too.
i'm clear. its YOU

kk enuff abt mysterious people (i cant even say mysterious GIRL. for all ya'll noe it CLD be a guy :D k so its not. but hey who noes these days man!!! like mar says 20% of all s'poreans are quite likely possessed of homosexual possibilities)

im sick of school
n teacher's lame bitching
im sick of the way
there's never any switching

from nagging to niceness
is it really so hard?
all those dumb lil teachers
useless lumps of lard

is it really so difficult
to, for once, SHUT UP?
is it really impossible
to SHUT THE FUCK UP?

i dunno man. maybe it is
they say "cant teach an old dog new tricks"
guess the same goes for Ms Ho. God noes she's old
and will probably always be a bitch.

k that shld wrap it up for today. ill leave ya'll with this:

Chasing Forever

Early mornin' wake up
Gently with the Caress on your hand
And that Kimono that I bought you on my trip to Japan
Sunshine peekin through the venitian blinds
Four years, and like wine, you got finer with time
I got a question, if the prodda dressin and the Gucci
All got goes, and the freeze on the Lucci
I mean real bad girl, I'm talking rougher than rough
Do you think it'd be enough if we just had us?
Don't answer quick, think about it cause I'm askin for real
Golddiggers goin' to hear this song drivin and crash at the wheel
Forever is a long time, so far we gettin along fine
No car I ever drove, no ice I ever saw
No music I ever made, ain't nothin I wanted more
We could deal with whatever together
Sunshine, all that other weather, when we chasin forever

Chorus:

I wanna stay with you forever
I wanna spend all my life with only you
I wanna stay, lets stay together
Chasing forever, with only you

Verse 2:

Chasin forever, a buckwild, endeavorous scene
Should we pursue with somethin real or just chasin a dream
Or casin' the scene
Fore I die I plan
To see your soul and eternity in the palm of my hands
Now as a man, there's certain things I'm lackin for sure
But I'm committed to growin and coming at you mature
In the future, I know it ain't gonna be all good
But when we feelin the hurt, if we willin to work
The eight ball will never turn to see us behind
Though I ain't no knight, and my armor don't shine
My mom said the lynch pin of love is trust
An taught me monogomy is uh, monogamous
Plus, for you dinner by candlelight
Now don't commit before you sure you understand me right
It's a race to a strange place, most see never
It's a chase we gotta make together, forever

Chorus

Verse 3:

Now you would think after all my heartbreaks I'd be cruel
Hiding behind my ego, evil but no
Much the contrary, I'm very much certain
You searchin for joy, it's on the other side of hurtin
Finally found a person, worthy of all
Instead of pushin me down, you wanna cushion my fall
Your eyes could make the sun rise, all the birds sing
Seal it with a kiss, bind it with a ring
More carrats than even bugs could eat in a week
An the ribbon in the sky, close your eyes don't peek
I'll tell you what I see in the future
A hacienda so cute with, five little kids callin you mom and callin me dad
Havin more good times than JJ had
Judging by the look in your eyes, you see it
Let no man sever, welcome to forever

Chorus to fade


----Will Smith----

no doubt abt it. he's definitely THE BEST. ok so Eminem shares the same glory. they're both fucking brilliant rappers. but will smith's still way cool. why'd i choose this song u ask? was listening to it today on the way to school n it struck me the chorus is quite close to wat i'd like to say to someone. go figure :D i'll leave ya'll with that n other thoughts :) peace, love, warm n fuzzy feelings.