we were talking abt things that Fahy's taught us..... things that we've learned from him. and this's one of the things (although i don't know if you were there :D). We should keep record of each day's events... because if we dont, if we have no concrete memory of what happened, what transpired that day, then what is the point of having lived it?
take this as an example: just think of, say, the year 2002. not that long ago, is it? now think of the month of, hmmm, April. that's as good as any other. only 27 months ago - 27 months, what's that? nothing, wouldn't you think? alright now tell me... what did you do on the 15th (the date is entirely arbitrary) of April, 2002?

no idea? absolutely no recollection? so what, then, is the point of having lived that day?

i've heard some say that you mustn't live in the past all the time, and they use this to counter-argue the above. to me, that holds less water than a dead camel's toenails. it aint living in the past, in my book,to keep a record of what has gone before. to live permanently in the present would be to, each and every day, forget what was learnt the day before. and where would that leave us? (for those of you wise ones who have read "The Hyperion Cantos" by Dan Simmons, remember that girl in the first book who entered the Time Tombs and got that sickness where she steadily grows backwards in time, growing younger day by day, and each day waking up with one day less of memories? its like that, kind of)

which is why i'm worried that i havent blogged recently, because i've had some huge thoughts going thru my head recently. and now they're lost.




but enough of this maudlin attitude! stiff upper lip m'boy.




here's a quick recount:

Lit was damn fucking fun. (im referring to Practical Criticism here.) incidentally, if anyone can find out how i can contact Yann Martel personally (he wrote The Life of Pi) please advise.


i got fined 200 fucking dollars on Wednesday at Customs for bringing THREE PACKS of cigarettes into Singapore for my friends. long story....... i shan't (god i wish that was a real word) explain here. ask in person, if you want.


various positive and negative things with Euro 2004. fuck that.


INCREASING agitation at a certain supposed friend of mine, who i still continue to stand up for, who still will not return me my money. where you at man? its 3 months late.... don't play me out.


when will you ACCEPT A COMPLIMENT? :) i'll keep trying. the more i see the more i try to tell you you're a good person. i AM a genius y'noe. i tend to be right abt these things :) and i know you accept them quite a bit. you know what i mean. naturally! :D


and you: I AINT FUCKING ENGLISH :D despite the stiff upper lip thing. really!!


had some great time to myself, some great time with important friends, and some real fucking lows. but that's life, isnt it?


more recently, got scouted (for only the second time in my life - maybe there shouldnt be a "maybe" there, but i'd like to have been scouted 100s of times by now :D) today on Orchard Road. its UAN if that rings any bells. the guy mentioned modelling and i was like "uhhh............" hahahahahahahaahahah. so that was fun. the last time was last year, so there's been quite a gap in between.



i realized i don't talk abt dope much any more.... i dunno whether to be happy or sad :)






soo......

"cogito, ergo sum". i think, therefore i am. Rene Descartes... and who can really argue with that succint summation of one's existence and reality?

and yet i find myself thinking: how much of our lives should be "those around us think, therefore i am such"? the main force behind this idea is the parental one. increasingly i am realizing just how much of how we think is molded by our parents. i put it to you, ladies and gentlemen: before we can even BEGIN to claim to be thinking for ourselves completely, we must free ourselves of the shackles our parents unwittingly place upon us, else we can never truly say we are thinking independently.

and yet what i've just typed is blatantly impossible anyway, as is no doubt obvious. the idea of completely independent thought is, sadly, ludicrous. there simply is no such thing.

but still, that aside, we should be as metacognitive as possible and try to think outside of the box our parents create around our minds. we should examine all our actions: i'm realizing that much of what i do is identical to what i hate seeing in my parents. which is very disquieting. dont be surprised if that little list of things you have which you swore you'd never do or become when you become a parent yourself instead becomes a guideline of sorts for parenthood - it happens, much more than you even fear.



++sudden thought: dont fucking say "give me five" and then not let me give it to you k. cheeeeeee bye! :D (apologies for the profanity.......... ahhhh who am i kidding :D)




i find myself within a box
created by my mind
i feel my way around it blindly
and soon leave all behind

for in the darkness of this place
humanity is stripped away
leaving in its place nothing less or more
than that simple primal clay

the essence of which we are made
God's playroom building blocks
those which he used to make and mold us
setting us ticking just like clocks

my soul languishes in this place
it cries and pleads and screams
but there is none to hear, the walls are sound proof
and all others are in boxes of their own.
boxes of our own creation.






what do you get if you a cross a bridge with a car?


to the other side of the bridge.


that's my time :)



Sugarcult - Pretty Girl (The Way)
(props to you for it)