Performing is a drug

Once again, its been far far far too long. There's always so much going on in my head, and this blog, which was once a massive river of my outpourings, has now dwindled to something of a gurgling gully. A metaphor which is really rather apt.

Here's to smashing down dams then!



+++++++++


Yes indeed, performing is the ultimate head trip. There's the anticipation, the rush, the crash afterwards, the elation........ only thing is, it DOESN'T cost a bomb, and it won't land you in jail - nude exhibitionists excluded, naturally.


Yesterday I had my first acting performance, and it was at the Esplanade Concert Hall, no less! I still have the pass to prove it :) But my GOD it was such an experience. The dressing rooms, with their mirrors ringed with lights; the corridors, with people rushing around in various stages of dress; the backstage area, where everyone waits with their breath slightly held; the area behind the organ loft where I waited, alone except for a stagehand, with naught but a flashlight to hold pitch blackness at bay (I was the extremely dramatic and apparently rather effective speaker for the work "Of Sailors and Whales" by McBeth); the sheer NERVES before walking through the door; the thrill of having a spotlight trained on my figure, and knowing that all eyes were on me - an almost physical sensation.

I was playing with the Singapore Philharmonic Winds Orchestra, just in case anyone's wondering what it was all about.


The biggest rush must have been when the conductor, after bowing himself, selected me to be the first recipient of applause, and to be the first to bow after him. Quite an honour, if I may say so myself! But the cheers and the swell in the applause for me was intoxicating. Lest you think I deceived myself into thinking I heard what simply wasn't there, I didn't dare to believe it myself until people in the audience told me it genuinely happened.


I guess they must have thought I was alright :)


Doing my first professional acting gig - even if it wasn't necessarily the biggest role in the world (a wry smile would fit quite nicely here!) - and at the biggest venue in Singapore of the sort needed in this situation has firmly established in my head that i want to PERFORM. I could do it my whole life, and not grow bored. There's a vibe to the whole place that provides a perpetual thrill, and it's really quite addictive.


The most special thing about the evening for me would have to be having the love of my life there. Thanks so much for showing up - and curse the bitch of a friend! I love you.



Angie - The Rolling Stones