A friend (Ting!) asked about the meaning/purpose/rationale behind the second half of my previous post, and the response I gave seemed worth posting here:



Regarding my blog - one of my objectives was to get my readers (assuming I HAVE readers - Ha!) to sit back and reflect on the lives they find themselves leading, and to think to themselves if they're following the guidelines and strictures they, in their younger days, thought they would be. Whether the life they live and lead is in line with the suggestions and precepts of their parents, or religion, or society, or culture.



Basically I wanted to convey what I was feeling, which at base was a sort of calm desperation at seeing everything being inundated by corruption of a subtle kind, and a slow, sure detachment from anything even vaguely resembling the moral centre I believe in - not necessarily a detachment within myself, but a detachment occurring on the outside, in the society and environment I move in.


It sounds heavy, and deep, and so forth, but I continually find myself feeling like my innocence, or sanctity, or something, is being ripped away by the world, or the World, rather, an entity in It's own right, who laughs at me for my foolish naivete. And at the same time its an inner struggle of sorts, because I feel like I'm not quite the person I want to be, but I'm not letting go of that person; its still something I aim and strive for, regardless of whatever impression those around me might get, judging me by my exterior - an exterior which, by its flawed nature, causes me to find myself tangled up in situations that inevitably lead me to further lament the yawning chasm between where I am and where I want to be.


So there you go!




Shield of shining light
Paper thin, and pierced with dark -
The World shines through, black.