Life, death and the joys of wrestling
LIFE
Is short, usually not very fulfilling, and for us, depressingly, lasts for a shorter period of time than the Giant Sea Turtle.
DEATH
Is the culmination and end-point of Life, and is preceeded by scenes from one's life flashing past one's eyes. Contrary to popular myth, this does not occur when the skeleton with the sickle approaches. Rather, this is a process called LIVING.
Short, fairly succint, and that's that.
Ah, but
THE JOYS OF WRESTLING!
Now THERE'S something i can wax lyrical about.
Yeah I know, I know... there isn't much entertainment out there that's much more low-brow than wrestling. Plus the good old WWE just packs in heaps of violence, worsening an already terrible show. That's what everybody says. But I think this paradigm needs to be examined, and shifted!
I used to think that wrestling was one of the stupidest forms of television entertainment known to Mankind, and the Universe at large (the worst being day-time soap operas. I actually find most reality TV quite fascinating, even if at times in a sick way). I had friends who idolised wrestlers, watched every available episode with religious fervour, and followed plot developments more closely than they followed the lives of their family members. "Why watch the damn thing? Its all bloody fake!" I'd said. "The plots! The stories!" was the inevitable reply.
What-the-fuck-ever.
But one of the things I've realised as I've continued on my long slow slide down to Death, much to my chagrin, is that many things change as I grow older.
This year there've been lots of late nights for me - not having to wake up in the morning for school generally has that effect I'm told. The upshot of that? Lots of late night TV! And because of the incessant whingeing of the concerned parents here, late night TV features WRESTLING!
I watched a couple of minutes of one episode, then a bit more, and more..... and soon enough i was watching it whenever I was free and at home. Not addicted, but interested.
Sorta like a social pot-head.
I realised that my friends weren't just slack-jawed morons who'd had their minds eroded away by the utter stupidity of what was the WWF at the time. Nay, they were right: The storylines and plots, the good guys and the villains, the fake punches and the seemingly-superhuman feats - they all combined to make something incredibly enticing.
In my (not very humble at all, to be honest) opinion, the wrestlers today are the Gladiators of ancient Rome. While this may sound somewhat crazed, listen to this first!
1) Both the fights of today and the battles of the Colosseum featured larger-than-life men fighting in rings for the amusement of spectators.
2) Both forms of entertainment had carefully-planned and orchestrated battles between "good" and "evil" from time to time - concepts as arbitrary then as they are today. For examples of this, the Emperor Justinian's reign is a good period to examine (in Byzantium).
3) Both bring out the savage, primal response in the audience of bloodlust, as they vicariously partake in the carnage being played out before them.
4) Both have the magical attraction of being able to witness men such as the watchers could never dream of becoming fight purely for their enjoyment; they look, and find that it is good.
So what we've got are the heroes of a sizeable portion of today's younger generations! Plus, because its a lot more fake than the days of Rome - I say "a lot more" because contrary to what you probably think, its not ALL stamping-the-floor-when-throwing-a-punch. These guys bleed - your heroes never die until they are A) too old - and these days that's right about when you hit 80 or so, B) move into movies, where EVERYTHING is fake, or C) they become utterly evil (for example I do NOT know what the fuck has happened to Kurt Angle). Because of the nature of wrestling today, there's a lot of cooperation and pre-performance rehearsing, which results in set pieces on TV that are sometimes so wonderfully orchestrated that they approach aching beauty. Its something along the lines of 300 pound ballet with blood.
The plots are thin, i'll admit that. But they do get you interested! So you gotta give kudos to the scriptwriters and all those people, too: They keep the crowd entertained, and give 'em what they want. I dont quite know how it happens, but I get sucked right in, and pretty soon i actually GIVE a damn about who wins in a match and who bites the dust.
So we've got engaging storylines. We've got bloody entertainment. We've got people to do the impossible for us, to heart-wrenching perfection, while all we have to do is watch. Plus, we've got indestructible supermen who never seem to die.
So what are you waiting for?
Is short, usually not very fulfilling, and for us, depressingly, lasts for a shorter period of time than the Giant Sea Turtle.
DEATH
Is the culmination and end-point of Life, and is preceeded by scenes from one's life flashing past one's eyes. Contrary to popular myth, this does not occur when the skeleton with the sickle approaches. Rather, this is a process called LIVING.
Short, fairly succint, and that's that.
Ah, but
THE JOYS OF WRESTLING!
Now THERE'S something i can wax lyrical about.
Yeah I know, I know... there isn't much entertainment out there that's much more low-brow than wrestling. Plus the good old WWE just packs in heaps of violence, worsening an already terrible show. That's what everybody says. But I think this paradigm needs to be examined, and shifted!
I used to think that wrestling was one of the stupidest forms of television entertainment known to Mankind, and the Universe at large (the worst being day-time soap operas. I actually find most reality TV quite fascinating, even if at times in a sick way). I had friends who idolised wrestlers, watched every available episode with religious fervour, and followed plot developments more closely than they followed the lives of their family members. "Why watch the damn thing? Its all bloody fake!" I'd said. "The plots! The stories!" was the inevitable reply.
What-the-fuck-ever.
But one of the things I've realised as I've continued on my long slow slide down to Death, much to my chagrin, is that many things change as I grow older.
This year there've been lots of late nights for me - not having to wake up in the morning for school generally has that effect I'm told. The upshot of that? Lots of late night TV! And because of the incessant whingeing of the concerned parents here, late night TV features WRESTLING!
I watched a couple of minutes of one episode, then a bit more, and more..... and soon enough i was watching it whenever I was free and at home. Not addicted, but interested.
Sorta like a social pot-head.
I realised that my friends weren't just slack-jawed morons who'd had their minds eroded away by the utter stupidity of what was the WWF at the time. Nay, they were right: The storylines and plots, the good guys and the villains, the fake punches and the seemingly-superhuman feats - they all combined to make something incredibly enticing.
In my (not very humble at all, to be honest) opinion, the wrestlers today are the Gladiators of ancient Rome. While this may sound somewhat crazed, listen to this first!
1) Both the fights of today and the battles of the Colosseum featured larger-than-life men fighting in rings for the amusement of spectators.
2) Both forms of entertainment had carefully-planned and orchestrated battles between "good" and "evil" from time to time - concepts as arbitrary then as they are today. For examples of this, the Emperor Justinian's reign is a good period to examine (in Byzantium).
3) Both bring out the savage, primal response in the audience of bloodlust, as they vicariously partake in the carnage being played out before them.
4) Both have the magical attraction of being able to witness men such as the watchers could never dream of becoming fight purely for their enjoyment; they look, and find that it is good.
So what we've got are the heroes of a sizeable portion of today's younger generations! Plus, because its a lot more fake than the days of Rome - I say "a lot more" because contrary to what you probably think, its not ALL stamping-the-floor-when-throwing-a-punch. These guys bleed - your heroes never die until they are A) too old - and these days that's right about when you hit 80 or so, B) move into movies, where EVERYTHING is fake, or C) they become utterly evil (for example I do NOT know what the fuck has happened to Kurt Angle). Because of the nature of wrestling today, there's a lot of cooperation and pre-performance rehearsing, which results in set pieces on TV that are sometimes so wonderfully orchestrated that they approach aching beauty. Its something along the lines of 300 pound ballet with blood.
The plots are thin, i'll admit that. But they do get you interested! So you gotta give kudos to the scriptwriters and all those people, too: They keep the crowd entertained, and give 'em what they want. I dont quite know how it happens, but I get sucked right in, and pretty soon i actually GIVE a damn about who wins in a match and who bites the dust.
So we've got engaging storylines. We've got bloody entertainment. We've got people to do the impossible for us, to heart-wrenching perfection, while all we have to do is watch. Plus, we've got indestructible supermen who never seem to die.
So what are you waiting for?
posted by Timothy at 8:56 pm
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