in a way, this's about the most crushing thing i've ever experienced.


the timing of this is also almost uncanny. its just abt one year. if i had last year's blog entries i cld compare the dates - they might even be the same!
but nooooooooooo. i dont have archives.
(yeah i know i know i KNOW. everyone shut the fuck up. i clicked "Archives" or whatever-the-fuck the button's called in my "Settings" section, and the damn things dont appear. God knows there should be millions of the fucken things.)



a hundred million fucking guns/to kill myself i just need 1/load the chamber,point it straight/& pull the trigger - i cant wait






yeahhhhhh.


all those fucking songs with all that turn back time bullshit. they are the most FUCKING ANNOYING SONGS IN THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD.




oh yeah! normally i wouldnt care, but i have a certain Liverpool fan amongst my readers (altho he may cease reading after this entry - oh well :D). so:

GUESS WHO BEAT LIVERPOOL LAST NIGHT?



MANCHESTER FUCKING UNITED, THAT'S WHO.


call me a member of the masses who've been duped into believing Man U is something they're not, but that club has an appeal for me unlike any other. Arsenal can go stick their record up their collective behinds.







i'm finding these days that i often cant put what i'm trying to say into words, which is a tad worrying. this is one of those times. i cant articulate what it is i want, but the closest i could come to it would be i want things to be the way they were before.


which, i guess, makes me the type of person who would sing one of those fucking turn back time songs, if - Heaven forfend! - i was a singer.




i'm thinking maybe i shld start including anti-religious (or whatever name you pick for it) psycho-babble in my blog. i'm gathering its all the rage now - or maybe that's just with liverpool fans.

hahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahaha sorry mate i cldnt fucking resist that one.




but seriously, in a way its almost ludicrous how much conflict there's been in the human race about religion. Everyone should come to their senses, and collectively come to the conclusion that there can only be one true path to righteouness and holiness:
Worship ME.







oh come on you people must've seen that one coming from a mile off.
did i ever tell you the one about the pope who was caught jacking off?


oh yeah i did :) its several months back. scroll down (YES I DON'T FUCKING HAVE ARCHIVES GODDAMNIT) and find it, if you want. its pretty good.







you'll never ever see/you'll never ever be/you wanna fuck around/then come and fuck with me.





ideally here's where i'd include a bit abt ___, but then all the idiots that seem to abound in the world would arrive at the wrong fucking conclusion. you know why? because that's their job and calling in life. that's right. Such people are put on Earth with the sole purpose of coming to half-baked conclusions. Somewhere, someone's saying "i wonder what i can do to fuck things up on Earth?" and a little devil on his shoulder (Ignore the religious implications of the Creator - that is, of course, who the "someone" is. Please say you guessed - having a devil on his shoulder. Religious psychobabble, ppl! sneaky shit!) tells him "why dont you create a unique race of things-that-look-human, who have the brains of a slice of cheese, and none of it's appeal? these things will exist ONLY to torment the human race with their inexplicably-arrived-at ideas". Someone responds with "Sounds good to me!" and bingo. there you have it.





instead, let's indulge in some self-praise. always fun :)




its the ease of talking to myself
that always gets me going
never having to explain
and always, always knowing
exactly what i'm talking 'bout
what i'm trying to get across
without having to strain myself
or to be feeling at a loss
its amazing the joy i find
in time spent by myself
in the simple enjoyment i find singly
reading a book pulled off my shelf.
in the looks i give myself in the mirror
so knowing, and so sure.
the lack of any need to elaborate -
i'm telling you. that's the draw.
the knowing i can trust only myself
makes me seek to only confide
in my deepest of selves, and to hide deeply within
my secrets, within my own mind.
My depth of self-love borders on narcissitic
but still i shan't apologise
For if you were me, then you would surely see
that with me, there can be no diguise.
its freeing to be so utterly honest
to not to hold back unless willing
to completely let go, and to never fear woe;
its a feeling that is so fulfilling.


and i am the most thankful person in the world for it - and hope it never disappears.





5 random things:

1) I'd LOVE to find an IST rune. none of you know what i'm talking about, i'm sure.

2) I just want .................. yeah the only person who will understand this will know what i mean

3) I'd love a shaftstop. that'd about make my day.

4) I've got some ____ sitting in my bag and its killing me that i havent done it yet.

5) These random things aren't very random, are they?






they'll never ever know, will they? we'll always have that to laugh about. when we're both dead, they'll still have no idea what the fuck it all was.