forget everything i said yesterday. i dunno wat it was but i shldnt be all paranoid.

i'll leave that to other people.


everything's one massive lot of confusion right now. i dont noe where everything is any more. coupla days ago it all made so much more sense. now im back to wondering again.

im half convinced that part of the reason for my anxiety is that now school's over i gotta start work. so i've got all the "what should i do?" and so forth worries going on. plus i'm not gonna see anyone, in all likelihood, for the next 6 or so weeks. which really is quite depressing.

and since im depressed n all my subconcious goes "alright what the hell. let's throw everything we've got at tim". its really a very schizophrenic experience :)

that idea of still being friends when we're 80 really appeals to me :) i reckon its possible!

worried if i ask too much everything'll start up again. space... thats what i gotta learn to give. space.


man goes with his son to the doctor and says "Doc, can a 12 year old remove his appendix?" doc says "well yes but there's really no reason to" man says "you hear that Tom? u put that back in right now!"

:)


been thinking abt the stuff poets say. jealousy being a green eyed monster? yeah its all that and worse. sunsets being the things of dreams? yes indeed. the crash and pounding of breaking surf? definitely the heartbeat of the ocean.