today was bad.
started out by checking my phone in the morning. standard procedure. funny how three words can fuck your day up, even at 5 am in the morning. one would have thought the mind wld still be shrouded by sleep. well, one wld be wrong if one thought thus, evidently.
today was very bad.
lets see..... due to the fucked up start, everything took on a deathly pallour for the whole day. was pretty damn jaded abt everything. plus i sent a really stupid msg to someone last night. i am such a total dickhead. so anyhow. school concert for Teacher's Day was alright i spose. guitar club was (no surprise) a complete write off. altho the solo wasnt too bad. i shld totally join next year.
after concert: went back to class....... slacked n stuff. kinda felt bad re siva. she obviously felt a lil let down by our class. but the giving of the card n prezzies n stuff kinda cheered her up a lil i think. nonetheless....... yeah.
then i basically disappeared from class. didnt really have the mood to say g'bye to everyone n stuff. just went to meet my marists n we went down to good ole MSHS. that place is home man. totally. suffice to say i had fun there.
y'noe wat i aint gonna recount everything k? school was good... played a lil n stuff. (we have a fucking POOL table in school now. how cool is that?)
then went to town with ppl.... ended up watching S.W.A.T. wasnt as good as i'd have thought. but it was ok.
blah blah blah. basically today i've felt like absolute shit. how can fucking emotions (which are, btw, largely caused by chemicals in ur blood. aint that glorious now are they?) be such a goddamn pain in the ass?
this blog is mine rite? as in for me to spill n all right?
so :
fuck im getting irritated with everything concerning this. worst thing is there's really no justifiable cause aside from normal human folly. which doesnt really cut it with me anyhow. but how the FUCK can i continue to like someone who's my friend? and who feels (im guessing rather accurately) absolutely nothing for me in return? its seriously fucked up man. life is an absolute train wreck. somebody's got some serious re-writing of the Life code to do here. im telling you my life is wacked. what am i to do i ask you.
n yet at the same time it isnt. God knows where i'd be without this same thing. probably slightly more balanced. but at the same time i'd have missed out on something that has become an intergral part of me. something that has wended its way deep into the hidden recesses of my soul and there taken root, and now it cannot be removed. besides it shld not be uprooted like a common weed. rather i feel it shld be carefully nutured in the hope (HOPE being the operative word; it'll probably never happen) that it blossoms into something mutual. either that or that it transforms into something more tolerable.
well thats all for tonight folks. voyeurist vultures that you are :D
nah its my pleasure to squirm in agony for ya'll. peace out
started out by checking my phone in the morning. standard procedure. funny how three words can fuck your day up, even at 5 am in the morning. one would have thought the mind wld still be shrouded by sleep. well, one wld be wrong if one thought thus, evidently.
today was very bad.
lets see..... due to the fucked up start, everything took on a deathly pallour for the whole day. was pretty damn jaded abt everything. plus i sent a really stupid msg to someone last night. i am such a total dickhead. so anyhow. school concert for Teacher's Day was alright i spose. guitar club was (no surprise) a complete write off. altho the solo wasnt too bad. i shld totally join next year.
after concert: went back to class....... slacked n stuff. kinda felt bad re siva. she obviously felt a lil let down by our class. but the giving of the card n prezzies n stuff kinda cheered her up a lil i think. nonetheless....... yeah.
then i basically disappeared from class. didnt really have the mood to say g'bye to everyone n stuff. just went to meet my marists n we went down to good ole MSHS. that place is home man. totally. suffice to say i had fun there.
y'noe wat i aint gonna recount everything k? school was good... played a lil n stuff. (we have a fucking POOL table in school now. how cool is that?)
then went to town with ppl.... ended up watching S.W.A.T. wasnt as good as i'd have thought. but it was ok.
blah blah blah. basically today i've felt like absolute shit. how can fucking emotions (which are, btw, largely caused by chemicals in ur blood. aint that glorious now are they?) be such a goddamn pain in the ass?
this blog is mine rite? as in for me to spill n all right?
so :
fuck im getting irritated with everything concerning this. worst thing is there's really no justifiable cause aside from normal human folly. which doesnt really cut it with me anyhow. but how the FUCK can i continue to like someone who's my friend? and who feels (im guessing rather accurately) absolutely nothing for me in return? its seriously fucked up man. life is an absolute train wreck. somebody's got some serious re-writing of the Life code to do here. im telling you my life is wacked. what am i to do i ask you.
n yet at the same time it isnt. God knows where i'd be without this same thing. probably slightly more balanced. but at the same time i'd have missed out on something that has become an intergral part of me. something that has wended its way deep into the hidden recesses of my soul and there taken root, and now it cannot be removed. besides it shld not be uprooted like a common weed. rather i feel it shld be carefully nutured in the hope (HOPE being the operative word; it'll probably never happen) that it blossoms into something mutual. either that or that it transforms into something more tolerable.
well thats all for tonight folks. voyeurist vultures that you are :D
nah its my pleasure to squirm in agony for ya'll. peace out
posted by Timothy at 12:27 am
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